So, how was I referred to my company's EAP (Employee Assistance Program)? I could have sworn it was for suicidal people or grieving people that can't get their work done. I was confused and it was seeming like a bad joke. Every time I mentioned Calvin, everyone got so uptight and alarmed. For God's sake, we had drinks with the man!
Anyway, EAP referred me to a therapist (Royce). I actually liked talking to her because she was quirky like me. She didn't dismiss my Calvin story like everyone else. Corey, on the other hand, attempted to "explain" why Calvin didn't exist, but I lost interest early into his explanation. I'm guessing he was just trying to get me to not be so embarrassed. Now, to add to my embarrassment, everyone was insinuating that I was crazy.
Royce was oddly supportive. I told her all about my first impression of Calvin and how I slightly went off into this weird fantasy about him being the man of my dreams when I first saw him. She talked girlishly with me about him as if she could relate. She was refreshing. I guess I needed to have at least one female friend who I could talk to like that. The job's attempt to embarrass me had actually created a friend for me in this therapist. I felt comfortable giving her backstory about my past relationships and how I'd NEVER dated a man that didn't cheat on me. She even laughed with me about my experimental relationships that STILL ended in the guy cheating. Just verbally reliving it all was depressing me. I'd dated guys with potential and then there were the guys that were already successful. Then I dated guys that needed a little encouragement. The problem is, once they got enough encouragement, they used their newfound confidence to cheat and ditch me. Royce seemed really affected by my relationship stories and she could tell I was getting depressed.
She switched the subject to my mom. What could I say? My mom just wanted a normal daughter married to an awesome guy with at least one kid. She wanted that for years and was definitely graduating from gently pressuring me about it to aggressively trying to put the puzzle together for me. We actually wanted the same thing for years, but I couldn't materialize Mr. Right so I'm patient with her pushiness. I'd basically succumbed to an out of body experience where I was listening to myself talking to Royce and I was starting to feel sorry for myself as if listening to someone else. Therapy was helping something (even if it was doing nothing but making me open up). I stopped talking abruptly. My mind was wandering back to Calvin. I asked Royce what she thought about Calvin as if she were my best friend.
"Calvin is exactly who you needed based on your relationship history. He came to you because you needed him. We'll talk more about him next time. That's our time for today."