Everybody's had that time when someone says they're coming over and you're left running around trying to make sure your home looks presentable. (talk about stress!) I try to make it a point to clean like somebody's coming and maintain it. This goes along with the age old saying "if you stay ready you won't have to get ready". I think it's a good idea to apply this philosophy to relationships too.
If you resolve issues in the relationship and maintain those solutions, you won't have to worry about scrounging to fix issues when you feel your position is threatened. It doesn't always have to be that extreme. It may not be a matter of your position being threatened. It could simply be an issue with the amount of effort you're putting into the union. If you are maintaining your relationship to the best of your ability, whether you're in a good relationship or not-- it's a good look for you. I definitely believe in karma and putting good energy into the world.
Keep the standards for who you want to be in your relationship high. Even when things go left, hold yourself to that standard. If your partner doesn't recognize that you are maintaining high standards as a partner, someone else will. They will either recognize your effort or they will miss the memo entirely. Either way you've done your part. With that being said, how do you do your part? Here are 5 ways to raise the bar for yourself and maintain a healthy relationship. (Try to check this list off every week.)
1. Be emotionally responsible.
It's easy for us to be selfish and blind to things outside of ourselves sometimes, but make sure you're not missing signals that your partner needs you emotionally. It may not be anything major, but being the person that they can vent to will form a better emotional connection. Check for signals and even if there are none, tickle their funny bone somehow. (Instagram memes are GOLD for this!) Being emotionally responsible is not only supporting them when they are sad or upset, but trying to randomly put a smile on their face.
2. Cater a conversation to your mate's interest.
So what if you don't know anything about football or auto mechanics? There's something your man is really interested in that you would be semi-interested in if you give it a chance. Let him teach you something new! (I love to see a person's passion when they're teaching me something they love-- because I'm weird like that) Just make sure that you're genuine when you start the conversation. If it helps, target one thing about their interest that you really want to know more about.
3. Take initiative on something... anything.
If your partner is ALWAYS the one doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. surprise them and do part or all of it. If that doesn't work for your personality, plan relaxing music for him and help him unwind. You'll know what will relax him or just take him by surprise (in a good way) without having to ask.
4. Dream together.
Plan a bucket list or business together. On a lower scale, you can plan an event/date that interests you both. The point is having something that you can collectively be excited about. I found that couples that "dream" together are better at pushing each other to reach higher potential.
5. Laugh with, at, and about them.
This is important weekly because sometimes life is happening so fast that you don't get a chance to enjoy one another. Get out of the dull routine for a minute and gaze into your partners eyes and just laugh. (That's just my interpretation of what should happen when you gaze into your partners eyes at least 25% of the time.) If you're not goofy like me, find another way to laugh with them.