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6 Ways to Build Self-Confidence after a Break-up

Updated: Feb 9, 2021

I keep preaching about self-love and "being a better you" in my posts, but I haven't really said anything about how to do this. Sometimes it takes everything in you to repair yourself after a break-up or serious let down. The good news is that if it's taking you a while to bounce back, that's completely normal. It takes more than a few days to break a tie to someone or something you loved deeply. Actually, in some cases it's merely the abandonment of the perfect love story you created that makes you mourn the loss. The key to getting out of this funk is to find a way to repair your confidence. Here are perfect ways to build your self-confidence after a break-up.

1. Pursue a dream you were putting off. The key to building confidence, is finding your way to a space you've always wanted to occupy. Actively pursuing a dream that you previously tabled will definitely keep you busy and show you new things you're capable of. As you discover new strengths while pursuing your dream, you'll start to appreciate these parts of yourself.

2. Plan a getaway. You don't have to spend big bucks on a getaway for this to be successful. Day trips and long drives are my favorite things to do to bring myself back where I should be emotionally. When I find my emotional center, it's easier to speak positive affirmations to myself.

3. Speak positive affirmations to yourself. It may feel and sound crazy at first, but your brain and body will start to believe it and act accordingly. Here are a few of my favorites. "You're a big deal and the man for you will see you and know it immediately." "Your accomplishments will always outweigh your failures." "Your positive attitude will attract valuable people, opportunities, and experiences." ...tailor these as you make progress.

4. Get physically active. I know I know... nobody wants to work out to kill heartbreak, but it's not about working out. Low impact physical activity counts here too.You can achieve this by making a point to just move more. When you're up and moving, it's harder to think miserable thoughts. As your thinking becomes less negative, your confidence will increase significantly.

5. Spend time with people that want to see you succeed. I have a few innately positive friends that remind me that I have goals to crush when I even blink like I want to give up. Having people that cheer for you even when you aren't winning is very important. If you have no one like this, it's time to meet new people.

6. Go out and do things alone. In your alone time, do what makes you happy (shopping, exercising, getting pampered, etc.) As you master being alone, you'll start to understand that solitude isn't a bad thing and YOU are the best person to hang out with. This will also give you a chance to get to know yourself better. You can't expect someone else to come along and want to know you if you don't know (or don't care to know yourself).

This definitely isn't an end-all/be-all list, but it's a good starting point for repairing your self-confidence. You don't have to be broken indefinitely. Start the path to rebuilding your confidence now. Be confident that your best days are ahead of you!

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