Dating for the Single Mother Millennial
People have historically looked down their noses at the single mother. Add “millennial” to that mix and the stereotypes are endless! While people in general have their stereotypes, the most unfortunate group of people with stereotypes about single millennial mothers are the men that could potentially date them. Dating for the millennial mommy is a weird terrain to navigate. Some men callously assume that she’s accustomed to disappointment and won’t even TRY to be a decent partner. Others reduce her to a sexual object because in some men’s minds they’re “doing her a favor by giving her the attention the absent father isn’t”. She’s labeled as an opportunist by men who fear commitment and think they have a lot to offer. The list goes on. There’s so much for her to consider and overcome (in the way of stereotypes) that some millennial moms don’t even try to date. Here’s a list of 5 key stereotypes that should be dropped when considering dating a millennial mom. (Share these with your male counterparts).
She’s looking for someone to take on the financial responsibility of her child. She’s most likely looking for someone to be a father figure and give her child the example of what a man should be. This doesn’t mean she wants to dump a financial burden on her potential partner and live a carefree life. The wild imaginations of some men will lead them down this thought process-- feeding themselves a damsel in distress narrative.
She wants to get married and/or get married immediately. As controversial as it may be, some single millennial mothers elected to be single mothers. I’ve heard of several millennial career women using donors to have children. This means they are NOT in a rush to get married or marry at all. Some are dating for companionship, but building a family may not be the mission.
She’ll be generally unavailable. While juggling a full-time job and full-time "momming", finding time to use the bathroom in peace can be a challenge. However, with enough notice, she could easily make herself available to her partner. After all, she HAS figured out how to juggle all her “mom activities” while working and/or pursuing other ventures.
She’s bitter or has baggage. Guess what? Some single mothers are in a good place with their child’s father and are co-parenting seamlessly. Some people love to imagine a single mother as this bitter man-hater who wants to man-bash and be in a loving relationship simultaneously. There are single mothers who are happy and focused on producing positive energy. In turn, that’s what they want in their lives.
She’ll settle for or overlook foolishness. The opposite is most likely true here. Single mothers aren’t just taking what they can get to have a warm body to claim as their own. Most strive for better—a higher bar. Their child is motivation to want and strive for the best. Their partner will have to meet a certain expectation for the child’s interest.
So, the dating plight of the millennial mom is rather bleak (unfortunately). These stereotypes have driven the conversation and ideas around dating mommies and millennial mommies alike. While most can’t catch a break in regards to dating someone worthy—others have given up completely. It’s unfair and frankly sad. As incorrect as these stereotypes may be for some millennial mommies, some men will still operate as though they are fact. However, there are some objective and intelligent men that will approach the situation open-mindedly and willing to form their opinions on a case by case basis. These men are the MVPs.