Updated: Feb 19, 2021
We try all we know how to make our men meet us half-way (regarding effort put into the relationship). Sometimes we’re successful and other times we aren’t. In those instances that we aren’t successful, we’re left wondering what more we can do or if we should just match his energy and call it a day. The petty in me enjoys energy matching because people are typically shocked (and maybe even a little offended) when you match their energy. While it can come off as petty, sometimes it’s the ONLY way to get your partner to understand your point of view and adjust their ways. Here are the pros and cons of energy matching in relationships.
Pro 1: It gets your point across most effectively.
I’ve found myself arguing for hours and maybe even days to show how something may be disrespectful or inconsiderate to me. Most times I’ve done this to no avail because some guys can’t or refuse to see past their own nose when they’re in the wrong. It’s frustrating. However, as soon as I do the exact same thing, they can immediately see the disrespect and inconsideration. (Go figure!)
Pro 2: It keeps you from falling into a one-sided pursuit.
If you’re matching his energy, if he’s not interested, you’ll keep yourself from coming off as desperate. Some guys actually “dial it back” in hopes that you will give up. This allows them to avoid telling you they’re not interested. If you’re reading the cues and matching his energy, you’ll be a few steps ahead of the game in this situation.
Pro 3: If he’s really into you, the relationship will advance quickly.
If you’re dealing with a guy that KNOWS exactly what he wants, you won’t be at risk of stunting your relationship growth. If you’re matching his energy, things will progress quickly and may even lead to a quick happy ending. (Check out my post on 6 month proposals here.)
Con 1: It can come off as PETTY.
When matching energy, you have to be careful that it just doesn’t turn into one big petty fest. If you’re matching energy for petty reasons only, the relationship may already be done. If your sole reason for energy matching is to get him back for something he did, reconsider. It may just be better to give someone more deserving your good energy.
Con 2: If he’s not interested, you waste more time.
If he’s not interested in you and you match his energy, the two of you could be sentenced to a silent limbo until one of you decides to cut ties. Depending on how long this takes, you could just end up wasting time indefinitely. It may be a good idea to set cut-offs in this situation.
Con 3: His energy may be super jacked-up.
As soon as you decide to match his messed-up energy, yours will be compromised as well. This will create more opportunities for issues to creep into the relationship. The other concern here is that same energy migrating into a new relationship with you if you choose to end your current relationship.
It’s easy to want to match energy for several reasons, but each situation is different. It’s up to you to decide if matching energy will add value to your relationship or tank it completely. These pros and cons will help you balance it out. When do you typically match energy with your partner?