What NOT to do When Starting a New Relationship
Everybody thinks they know exactly what to do when they get into a new relationship, but that probably couldn’t be further from the truth. We are blind, deaf, and dumb when we fall for that special someone initially. Most of our early days are spent “going with the flow” and staying attached to our new partner’s hip. I wouldn’t say this is ALL bad, but it’s not all good either. We connect and FEEL more than worry about the intricate details in the beginning. Sometimes, down the road, when all that upfront feeling is over, the blinders fall off. That’s when we usually wish we’d made better decisions going into the relationship. Here’s a helpful list of 8 things NOT to do when you’ve just gotten boo’d up.
Don’t introduce your partner to everyone up front
I know this may sound a little closed off and guarded, but immediately introducing your new bae to your entire world could be a big mistake. If things don’t work out or if they turn out to be more stalker than concerned lover, you don’t necessarily want them to have the access that these introductions may bring. Also, you don’t want your inner circle asking you about one of your “false alarms” all the time. Ugh!
Don’t tattoo their name anywhere
This one is typically a no-brainer but tat happy people don’t mind proving their love with this grand gesture. After all, they’re probably thinking it’s just one of many tattoos. This can be problematic because… WHAT IF IT DOESN’T WORK OUT?! Now you have to explain to your future partner why your ex’s name is on your body and maybe potentially have to get another tattoo to cover it (out of respect). *sigh* It all sounds like too much work JUST because you may have wanted to be over the top up front. Pass on this one until you’re a little more solid.
Don’t lie to impress
Telling white lies (or especially tall tales) in the beginning of your relationship is detrimental. Doing so may create a person for your partner that doesn’t really exist. Essentially, you’ll be making them fall for the person you’d like yourself to be and not who you really are. Keep out of the false advertising lane and be real from the beginning. You definitely wouldn’t want the shoe on the other foot, right?
Don’t move in together
As tempting as it may be to immediately start saving on rent, don’t do it! You’re still trying to learn the general parts of each other. Compiling living habits into that equation is shifty at best. If things go left, you’ll either have to break your lease and figure out a new budget for rent, OR continue to live with your ex and potentially be faced with their new love interest(s) until your lease is up. That could be ugly. Instead of moving in together immediately, take the time to learn yourselves and maybe get glimpses of your partner’s living habits.
Don’t cosign for ANYTHING
In the early phases of a relationship, you love your partner so much that you’re willing to do outlandish things to prove that you’re “down for them” and will support them. This all can be shown without putting your personal credit in jeopardy. At this point, you haven’t been in the relationship with them to determine their credit worthiness, BUT if they need a cosign, they haven’t been great at paying their debts and/or monitoring their credit. Don’t legally tie yourself to ANYONE you just met. If things don’t work out, your credit then takes a hit for a person with whom you no longer wish to hold ties. Headache central!
Don’t try to completely reshape their circle
Mind your business! If you don’t like your partner’s friends initially or if you think he’s too cozy with one of his coworkers. It’s not your job to end his other relationships to accommodate your insecurities. You’ll do better to observe at first than to come in like a wrecking ball to remove everyone that’s not you. Not only is this crazy, but I’m sure he and/or his circle won’t find it cute in the least bit. Relax.
Don’t try to force your lifestyle on them
If you’re vegan or vegetarian, that’s great, but don’t expect your partner to go from a full-blown carnivore to a vegan overnight. Just because that’s your life choice, they shouldn’t have to conform to your eating habits to exist in your world. That’s just not fair!
Don’t try to work at the same place
Contrary to how you may feel when you’ve just gotten into a new relationship, you both need some alone time. If you decide to work at the same place, you’ll be hard pressed to find much needed alone time. The other issue is that your relationship issues/situations are bound to bleed over into your work environment. You’ll be having spats and/or showing a lot of affection when you should be focused on working.
I know the honeymoon phase is blinding, but when it’s over, things can get a bit messy if you’ve ignored the things on this list. Slow it down a bit and avoid these common “new love” mistakes to have a love that lasts.