All you want to do is be a supportive friend or family member, right? Sometimes this obligates you to be placed in awkward situations occasionally (not that weddings are awkward, but awkward for the older single woman). Now, don’t get me wrong. Marriage is a beautiful thing (and no one enjoys a sappy love story more than me), but attending weddings after a certain age (with bleak marriage prospects) can be awkward. You have the elders nudging you asking when you’re going to do it, your mind wondering why you haven’t been“chosen”, and a nagging fear growing that you may just die alone. All of this is occurring while you’re celebrating a loved one’s forever connection. It’s a lot and the pressure alone can be a bit daunting. While navigating the plethora of emotions, there are some very important things to remember as you attend these weddings.
People really don’t mean any harm when they ask when you’re going to get married.
It’s annoying, to say the least, when people are inspired by others’ love and start asking when you’re going to get married. Nobody really expects you to answer with a concrete date. They just want to get your “wheels turning in that direction”. They don’t realize that you’ve probably already been obsessing over it and by them asking, it just fuels pressure that you may already be placing on yourself. Even more awkward is when you’re there with your non-committal significant other and you have to laugh it off because it’s SUPER awkward having someone else ask him the very thing you’ve been hinting around (or directly asked him). Find ways to politely answer this question without snapping or coming off too brash. Again, they don’t mean anything by it.
Don’t think of it as “being chosen”.
This is one of the worst ways to think about marriage, as a single woman. It’s the same feeling as when everyone lined up in gym class to pick kickball teams and you were picked last (or close). Everyone around you kept getting chosen with each new round and you just stood there wondering just how bad your foot-eye coordination really was (and why didn’t ANYONE tell you?). That feeling of rejection from elementary school should never be relived into adulthood. Thinking of marriage as getting “chosen” will most assuredly create a complex or some type of insecurity. Be confident that a man is out there looking for your specific skill-set and he’s bound to find you sooner than later.
Remember it’s only a bouquet.
First, if you don’t want to participate in catching the bouquet, it’s totally fine to crank up your mingling efforts at this point in the reception. Some single women are too embarrassed to participate in trying to catch the bouquet. For some… they just don’t want to come off as desperate. No superstition can make a man magically appear, but it’s fun to dream. That’s the purpose here. It’s somewhat of a hopeless romantic ideal that if you catch the bride’s bouquet, “your turn” will finally come. Appreciate the tradition for that, but don’t let it be something to make you overthink.
Even if you don’t get married, it doesn’t mean you’re going to die alone.
Your mind probably jumped to the most dramatic scenario when considering your future without a husband. It’s human nature. Don’t forget that you have friends and family members too. The last thing you should be thinking about at a wedding is dying alone. You have to be careful not to accidentally transport negative energy to your loved-one’s big day. If anything, draw from the marriage/love energy that is bound to be permeating every inch of the room. This is what you want to absorb from the atmosphere! Absorb it and stop blocking your maximum absorption by thinking craziness! Pull marriage and commitment energy your way and get ready to plan your own wedding! (wink, wink)
It’s really not a bad thing to attend wedding after wedding as a single woman (if you know how to navigate potential awkward situations). Have preloaded responses for situations that could potentially be awkward and enjoy the love that surrounds you! It’ll be your turn soon enough. You will want all of the energy to be positive and NOTHING close to bitter/reluctant. For this reason, don’t take anything personal and focus on giving the energy you want to receive. You may just meet your husband at one of the weddings you attend!