Updated: Feb 9
We (women) are used to being the one to curve guys and having our options lined up, but what happens when YOU get curved? How do you recover? When the “curver” becomes the “curvee”, that rejection is a different blow to the ego. Let’s be honest. Rejection stings—like lemon juice in your eye, but if you follow these 6 steps, you’ll bounce back from it like a pro.
Accept the humbling experience
Getting curved is enough to humble anyone. If you’ve been the one handing out all the “curve papers” it’s a punch to the gut when you’re on the receiving end. In fact, some people cannot mentally handle getting rejected. (They usually end up being featured in an episode of a show on the ID Channel. …but that’s not you, right sis?) The reason most women can’t handle rejection is because typically, we don’t have to pursue a partner. We get pursued (as a societal construct mostly, but it’s been working for us). With that being said, we’ve had the upper hand on the curving and we’ve been frivolously handing out curves with no regard as to how the rejection really FEELS. Accept a curve as your turn to feel it. Nothing more or nothing less. It humbles you a bit, but sometimes we need that. Maybe it’ll help you be gentler the next time you have to use your “mighty curve hand”.
Sit with the feeling
Don’t avoid feeling the curve. It’s healthy to know what it feels like, but don’t wallow in it. It’s my belief that the more emotions you feel historically, the more passionate you will be in a relationship. You’ll know how to feel good and bad emotions without flying off the rails. Feeling the rejection is good. Feel it and move forward.
Know that it gets you closer to where you SHOULD be
Rejection means you’re that much closer to being in the position for which you are destined. Imagine not being curved and spending years with the wrong person. Tragic! A good, early curve is a blessing for all parties. You’re both able to move on without wasting time trying to make the wrong situation work. That may even call for a celebration. (Okay, maybe not that far…. but you get it.)
Remember the good things about yourself
Don’t let a curve make you forget who you are. Remember who you are! [in my Moana voice] You are still amazing and attractive! So what if you’re not that particular person’s cup of tea? It’s not the end of the world. There’s somebody looking for exactly what you have to offer.
Highlight your attributes
Once you remember who you are, highlight those things that make you awesome. When I start to pinpoint the things that make me awesome, my confidence goes through the roof. I even walk with an extra bounce. (Don’t judge me.) Don’t forget to think fondly of yourself. That’s instrumental in pulling you out of the rejection funk.
Don’t let it stop you
Get back on the horse, sis! For some people, fear of rejection is debilitating. Don’t be one of those people. Fight the pangs of rejection and be open to new opportunities. If you shut down, you’ve already lost.
Rejection is evitable. You WILL get curved at some point in your life no matter how gorgeous you are. When the time comes, use these 6 steps to bounce back stronger! Keep your head up and put a little bounce in your step. Your doing amazing, sweetie.