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Dating Woes of the Successful Woman

It gets tiring hearing about how successful women have low chances of getting into successful relationships and getting married. Why do my goals and ambition have to cancel my desire to meet/marry someone who compliments me from a success standpoint? Well... they don't, and yours don't either. It's probably the way you are conditioned that makes it hard for men to measure up to your standards or fit into your life.

I've mentioned how ridiculous standards can make finding love impossible in this previous post, but never addressed the ever so common "successful woman that wants a man complimentary to her accomplishments". There's nothing wrong with this, but it makes the dating pool smaller and makes you have to be a bit more creative. Here are three things to think about (including success levels) when considering a potential mate as a successful woman.

1. Static Definition of Success

Say it with me... "A DEGREE does not guarantee a person's success". I've seen many successful woman go wrong eliminating good potential mates because their success didn't look the same (ie. he didn't have a degree). Let's first acknowledge that there are several measures of success. A college degree denotes success in the court of public opinion. This means, if you want a man that is perceived accomplished, this is the benchmark for you. Sadly, a man can possess an advanced degree and not be able to get into a career suitable to the degree OR be drowning in debt from obtaining the degree. On the flip side of this, a man that has no degree could be a successful business owner/entrepreneur. Make an attempt to broaden your success definition and it will definitely broaden the dating pool of potential suitors.

2. Emasculating Independence

Successful women are highly independent and rarely need support or input from their counterparts. This can be emasculating or downright intimidating. If a man isn't too intimidated to approach, it could be a blow to his pride when he finds he's not needed by his partner. Collaboration in other areas is necessary to secure stability and balance in a relationship. Work on not making the relationship mirror your work role. (We know you're a boss, but it's okay to let him take a lead a bit.)

3. Limited Time

Most successful women literally have to make time to date and be actively in a relationship. Career demands and tight personal schedules can make it hard for love to take root and blossom. If your partner has to compete against your career/business, start to prioritize them into your schedule daily (even if only for small amounts of time) and make sure to include 1-2 large blocks of time every week. This is important for the development of the relationship. Feeling prioritized is important for either partner in the relationship.

To overcome the stigma of not being compatible as a successful woman, you have to attack these key issues proactively. Dial back your judgment, be vulnerable, and make time for your counterpart. If there's one thing you're good at, it's closing a deal. This is a deal you can't afford not to close.

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