Becky with the Bad News



Everybody has that one friend or acquaintance that just can't resist giving you "the skinny" on your man or potential man. While it may seem that she's protecting you and being a good friend at first, if it persists, it get's ANNOYING and problematic for your relationship. Even if her facts are valid, there comes a time where you start to question her motives in constantly focusing on the bad about your guy. There are different versions of Becky with the Bad News. While not the most ideal person to have around constantly, there may be a few benefits to dealing with her but when the bad outweighs the good, she has to go! I'll help you identify the different versions of Becky with the Bad News and why you may want too distance yourself.

1. Harriet the Spy: She launches unsolicited investigations regularly on the guys you're dating and can't wait to share with you ANY and ALL information she finds. She knows who his ex girlfriend is and how to find her on Facebook. She's also probably friends with one of the ex's friends or coworkers (for the purpose of keeping tabs). This chick cannot help herself and the more you let her "investigate" the more poisoned you become by her info. If this is your bestie, tell her to kill the investigation and back away slowly. Don't feed her ANY information and don't necessarily take her findings as law. She will only feed and play on your insecurities and eventually ruin your relationship. She may love you, but she's KRAY KRAY and isn't sure how to function without being a protective, detective mama bear.

2. The Bread Crumbler: While she may have information, she didn't go out of her way to get it and she doesn't want to be the bearer of bad news. She operates by dropping hints (bread crumbs) during stories you tell. For example, if you say your guy is planning a getaway, she may respond by saying, "Wonder how often he does that" insinuating she knows he's planned some other getaway. She'll cough, murmur, and clear her throat to get you to pry her for information she "doesn't want" to tell you. She's not bad, but she'd be less annoying if she was forthcoming with information. She's actually probably the best version of Becky with the Bad News.

3. Projection Pioneer: OMG... everything that happened to her is happening to you or it will happen to you. Everything her ex did to break her heart is probably what your guy is doing right now. This one is EXHAUSTING! Maybe she really feels like she's protecting you from getting hurt or she just wants you paranoid and more available to her while she's lonely. You can say something as simple as your guy didn't answer the phone and she'll take it to the next level telling you about how her guy was doing the same thing because he was cheating. Honestly, she's toxic and really needs to figure herself out before even actively trying to be in a friendship. She's dangerous and just an all around buzz kill.


4. The Historian: Somehow she knows a large majority of the women from your guy's past and no matter how minuscule the relationship, she'll report it. She remembers his girlfriends from junior high and will mention them (just so you know). While she doesn't think the list is a deal breaker, she's just "putting it out there". She's almost harmless, but definitely annoying for reminding you of your guy's path to greatness (yes girl... I mean where would he go from you?). She's another version that can be kept around with guidance.

Overall, it's just annoying to have a friend that seemingly only wants to focus on your guy's flaws. Sometimes they may have valid points and could serve as a good prompt to evaluate the relationship. Other times, she's just being Becky with the Bad News for her own selfish reasons and you have to determine if she's adding more value to your life than not.

#friends #dating #relationships

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