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How to Lurk Effectively

We’ve all done it. (Lurked, that is.) I’ll explain for those who aren’t familiar with this terminology. Lurking is basically snooping on someone’s page and not engaging with any of their posts to find out information or just to be nosy. And yes… everybody’s done it at some point. You start off on your ex’s page and the next thing you know you’re on his new girlfriend’s, son’s, paternal grandmother’s page and you’re stuck in a rabbit hole of sorts wondering how you got there. It happens and no matter how weird it may seem, I think it’s probably closer to human nature than most would like to believe. I’m not here to condemn anyone for lurking. I’m merely the messenger for a new method of lurking. Yes love, you must use your lurking talents more effectively! Here are 4 ways to do just that!

  1. Lurk toward the future and not the past. This means stay off your ex’s (or anyone connected to your ex’s) page. It’s not going to benefit you at all to occasionally double check if he’s miserable or if his new girlfriend looks better than you. None of that matters. He’s water under the bridge and you should be looking onward and upward. With that being said, lurk on the profile of someone who makes/ you feel POSITIVE feelings (namely a potential boo… and no, not a celebrity). Check out that guy the followed you from the library or the single’s event.

  2. Lurk for things that wouldn’t be apparent about a person of interest. Corporations do this to potential employees. Yes, you may have been profiled before an interview to see how you interact with others or if you have personal baggage. If company’s can see the value in it, we may as well utilize the same technique and lurk with purpose. Do you see any potential baggage or unresolved issues with people in their past? These may be red flags to keep your distance. Are their posts disrespectful or chauvinistic? These are other red flags.

  3. Lurk for networking opportunities. Maybe you want a new job or want to propel your business to the next level. OR maybe… you want to meet a DECENT man who has similar goals. Lurking can help you make connections with the right people to do so. In this case, falling into the rabbit hole to chase leads isn’t as ridiculous as it may feel when you’re just doing it for sport. You may be able to connect with someone to get some of your ideas off the ground or to match you with your potential forever mate. (Good matches have been made by just knowing the right people).

  4. Lurk for motivation. Here’s where you can utilize those people that are where you want to be. See what they’re doing right and immolate it. Use their successes as motivation to get closer to where they are (success wise). Note: This is a thin line to walk for some people because you may be tempted to slide into depression by comparison. Be mindful of this!

So, there you have it. If you’re going to take up lurking as a sport, make it beneficial to your personal and/or romantic life. When you find yourself lurking for negative reasons, reset and refer to the list above. It takes some work to change those patterns, but it’s worth it.

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