Updated: Mar 18, 2021
Hi loves! Esse D here to talk about the grown-and-sexy lounge's indigenous species-- the sugar daddy. (Alright, alright… the older man). So, the term has a negative connotation connected to it, but these guys aren't so bad. In fact, they probably don't have any more hang-ups than the next guy. They may just be worth taking a second look. I mean, it's hard to get attention, keep guys interested, hide your crazy, and get the ring nowadays-- so, no rock goes unturned! Here are the pros and cons of dating an older man. (Then you can decide whether it’s worth giving it a try or not.)
He's established already. This is good because both of you aren't trying to get established in a career or secure the necessary degrees for your desired career. Ideally, this would decrease the friction that a developing career would create. Young couples shifting into their careers sometimes have to choose career advancement or relationship advancement due to relocations, quality time, etc. The older guy should be pretty solid in this department which will make decisions and compromise a little easier. (...and if he's not, what's the value of dating an older guy who's STILL finding himself? Cancel my order!)
He's likely ready to settle down. If this is what you're looking for, an older man is the equivalent of a Fast Pass at Disney! Most of them know exactly what they're looking for and if you're it, you're it! There's no wasting years dropping hints with these guys. In fact, their level of forwardness may even make you a bit uncomfortable (especially if you're used to dealing with indecisive guys). The point is they’ve lived life and have most likely gotten all of their shenanigans out. They're ready for something real with someone who's ready to settle down too.
He’ll most likely offer a different perspective in life. Face it. We’re going to have generally the same perspective on the world as our male counterparts that are our age. We've seen the same events play out in our lifetimes and have very similar experiences. If you are looking for someone who may have had a completely different life experience (from music to politics), older men are the way to go. Let’s just hope you don’t get too many “back in my day” speeches. (instant turn-off)
Older men are looking younger nowadays! I know you’ve seen the gray-bearded, hot grandpas that have been trending on Instagram. (or was that just me? … gotta be careful what pictures I like) The fact remains that it’s becoming a thing for men to be old, own it, and also be FIT. There are no worries for figuring out a way to be attracted to these guys, they’re drinking water, eating their veggies, and exfoliating! It shows! (It actually makes me want to do more so that I have a fighting chance of being the next Eartha Kitt when I’m old.)
He’ll think he knows more than you. To me, nothing is worse than a man that doesn’t think I have valid points or that I haven’t lived enough to know much. Older guys tend to take this sentiment and run with it at times. On the first disagreement, you may be written off as invalid because you’re too young to understand. Not only is this condescending, but it’s annoying.
He may be controlling. When there are large gaps in age, the dynamic starts to lean more toward parent/child and less romantic partners. Aside from it being creepy, there needs to be a level of respect flowing both ways in the relationship. Acting as a parent and trying to control everything is a ticket right out the door! Be careful of this with older men. Some think that younger women just need guidance and protection (and this is their version of it.)
He may have children your age. Can we say awkward? In the event that his children are your age, the level of respect from the children typically dwindles. (To be fair, how much respect would you have for a step-parent that’s your age?) Now, I covered how difficult navigating a relationship with a father can be in this post, but adult children take it to another level. There could be tension and/or beef with his children and depending on how he handles the situation, it may not be worth the headache.
He may have one or more ex wives already. This could be drama (more financially than not). If a guy merely has an ex, he’s not indebted to her. Ex wives are a different caliber (and maybe one that someone our age isn’t ready for). There may be alimony payments and other financial baggage in this situation. Check out the scene on this ASAP!
There you have it! The pros are pretty good, but if you can’t navigate the potential cons, leave him in the lounge where he found you. Dating is hard enough with someone our age, but to deal with drama from an older man may just be another type of beast! Whatever you do, stay healthy and open minded while waiting on THE ONE!