Updated: Feb 9
So, one of your friends (or acquaintances) meets a guy and they get hot and heavy… FAST! You’re just like “awwww… puppy love” and then all of a sudden, they’re engaged 6 months after they met and you’re sitting there questioning if you’ve been going about this dating thing all wrong. You probably haven’t, but while some rush to judgement of the couple, others aspire to be that confident in commitment. Those aspiring to inspire commitment this quickly want to know,
“What was it about the woman or the relationship that led to him proposing in 6 months?”
While everyone’s relationship is different, there are definitely common trends in fast commitments. Here’s a list of 6 things that can make that 6-month commitment happen.
COMMUNICATION IS EXCELLENT.
Being blunt and direct will win you points in this department every time. Typically, women don’t want to go into a dating situation talking about marriage and some will even act like that’s NOT on the forefront of their brains (even if it is). This is the opposite of what happens in these 6-month commitment situations. Both partners go into it being direct about what they want and when and guess what… nobody runs! It probably sparks the freight train if both discuss wanting marriage/children early in the relationship and they’re on the same page. Now, I’m not saying go to the first date with your David’s Bridal catalog and your wedding color options, but be direct if he asks about marriage. Also, you don’t have to be nervous about a guy that brings up marriage on the first date. Maybe he’s ready and just wants to know if you are too. Most women think there’s something wrong with a guy that wants to commit rather quickly. We’ve got to stop assuming he’s a “crazy stalker” and assess these situations better.
THERE ARE NO HIDDEN AGENDAS.
Neither partner is secretly just trying to improve their social or financial status. It’s pretty obvious when you’re with a person for money or image and it definitely won’t solicit a 6-month engagement. These situations only work when both parties are being genuine. Hidden agendas will prolong the process and most likely lead to break-up instead of a union.
THEY’VE DATED ENOUGH OTHER PEOPLE TO KNOW WHAT THEY DON’T WANT.
Both partners have had their share of failed and semi-successful relationships. From this they have a strong handle on their list of deal breakers (and deal makers). Having this solid list makes it easier to be decisive in determining whether their new partner is a good fit or not. They know the problematic characteristics they don’t want AND what they absolutely need in a partner. (Never knew your ex’s would be influential in your future happiness, huh?)
THEY ANSWER EACH OTHER’S “LOVE REQUIREMENT”.
The “love requirement” is a person’s bottom line answer of what they want from their partner in order to fall in love. If it were a sentence it would read “I just want ______ from my future husband/wife.” It’s that thing that you want from them above everything else. (For me, that’s probably loyalty. I can’t commit to a shifter. It just won’t work, and I’d never feel secure.) For some people, this requirement could be simpler and less layered. These are probably good candidates for the 6-month engagement.
THEY DON’T HAVE TIME TO EXIT THE HONEYMOON PHASE.
Everybody knows that in the beginning of every relationship, that period of intrigue and wonder drives feelings of love. Both partners want to know everything there is to know about the other and will spend hours just talking and hanging out. Expressions of affection are frequent during this period and emotions are exaggerated in the best way. It’s not farfetched to want to pull the trigger on a commitment during this period because you most likely haven’t had to see the other person in their non-romanticized state. They are the person you have reasoned with your heart for them to be and haven’t contradicted that reasoning during this phase. This is the "perfect storm" for a quick engagement!
THEY ARE AT THE SAME STAGE IN LIFE.
If both parties are at similar points in their career paths, it makes sense. Most couples at different points in their career paths postpone getting married until one or both are solidly in their careers. If it’s not the careers dictating their satisfaction with life, then both parties just simply have the same level of contentment with life. The fact that their contentment matches, just makes it easier for them to move to another stage in life together.
The fact that 6-month commitments are pretty common is proof that there are people with certain mindsets that are ready for such a commitment. There’s a perfect combination between the partners that make these commitments happen and these are the 6 elements that lead to the ring in 6 months. Don’t get discouraged if it’s taken you longer, but consider these things when looking to get to the next level. Enjoy single life in the meantime!