Some of us fall in love FAST.
There’s nothing wrong with it, but we must be careful how many permanent decisions we make while in the initial “in love” phase. Sometimes we don’t even have to necessarily be IN the in-love phase to make permanent decisions. These decisions offer a guarantee for our significant others and we make them to prove a point to our partners and/or ourselves.
First, let’s cover what’s considered more temporary relationships.
These are relationships that either JUST got started or may have existed for a while, but have grown emotionally stagnant. In these 2 situations it’s never good to try solidify what has the potential to be on shaky ground. That’s what making permanent decisions in these situations does. Now here’s a list of 5 permanent decisions NOT to make when the relationship is more temporary than not.
GETTING NAME TATTOOS
I blame Rick Ross for this one. He methodically chanted the words “tat my name on you, so I know it’s real” in one of his songs and BOOM—it became a thing. People took it literally and since then, people have been proving their love by doing just that. Don’t get me wrong, people were doing it well before the song was released, but the song made it a “new wave”. It was already common for tattoos to be a regret based on current state of mind and WHAT we got tatted on our bodies permanently. This just adds another aspect to it. While some people may be drunk when they make the life decision to get a regrettable tattoo, others are drunk with love when they do it. While it may be the ultimate demonstration of dedication, it will assuredly be regrettable if the relationship turns out to be temporary. The good news is, you can still painfully have it removed or cover it with something less regrettable. (…a unicorn perhaps? Ha!)
While some may scoff at the judgmental vibe this statement gives, I’m totally not being judgmental. Hell… I did it. I’m speaking from experience on this one. The thought of being permanently tied to an ex has always been a big fear of mine. Needless to say, I was a little disappointed in myself when I became (DON DON DONNNNNNN…) a “babymama”. There’s always the thought that I made an extremely permanent decision while my situation still has the potential to be temporary (still with him, so I may be okay). Does marriage solidify a relationship and guarantee you won’t still be connected to an ex forever in a different capacity? Of course not, but it makes the decision to have a child with someone a little more concrete. Choose wisely with this one because unlike a tattoo, you can’t just get a child removed or covered up. (Sounds harsh, but you know what I mean!)
This is another one of my personal rules. Nobody meets the ENTIRE squad unless it feels like it’s a permanent relationship-- period. Nothing is more annoying than when you break up with someone and all the people close to you keep asking about them. (It didn’t work people… gah!) Some people are comfortable going on a whim and introducing someone new to EVERYBODY in order to prove their commitment level. I get it and this MAY work if the people closest to you aren’t nosy or “naturally inquisitive”. If this is the case, there will be no questions if things go left. If it's not the case, get ready to be annoyed by your ex's mention for a few months after the break-up. It’s not that big of a deal, but something to think about.
STARTING A BUSINESS TOGETHER
They say don’t mix business with pleasure for a good reason. While you may feel like you know the person fully, you most likely don’t know your partner from a business standpoint (in the early days of your relationship). Adding a business relationship to a “growing” romantic relationship is a recipe for disaster. This permanent decision can negatively impact your coins! It will be pretty tough to split a company if the relationship sours. It’ll also be pretty difficult to run a successful company with someone with whom you’ve emotionally disconnected.
BUYING A HOUSE TOGETHER
This is one is a no-brainer and I actually think some lenders make it more difficult for unmarried people to buy a house together. They don’t do it for moral reasons, but for the backlash a break-up may potentially cause to consistent mortgage payments being made. I’m with them on that. Picture it, you’re in love and one of the options for a next BIG step is buying a house together. Some people are willing to jump on this if they’re already living together. Making this permanent decision while in a temporary position may leave one or both partners looking for a new place to live if things go wrong. Who wants that hassle? Not me. This is a big decision that will take a lot of undoing in the face of a break-up. It’s definitely NOT one to be made in a situation where the relationship’s foundation is new or shaky.
Making these permanent decisions are NOT ways to strengthen a relationship. In some cases, they are more likely to add more strain on the relationship. It’s romantic to think permanent decisions are gestures of commitment, but when made in uncertain relationship status—they can be nightmares. Look before you leap and don’t use these things as gimmicks to “prove yourself”.
Am I being too conservative? Let me know in the comments!