Updated: Mar 27
It’s easy to think you’re asking too much in a dating age where the bare minimum is tolerated, and subpar gestures are rewarded.
The sad truth is, it’s typical to be labeled as high maintenance for having normal standards. It goes without saying that we just may need a reminder of what is actually standard in relationships. Before lowering your standards or thinking you’re asking too much, check out this list of things that SHOULD be considered the bare minimum. If you’re asking for these things, you’re not asking too much!
There’s no way you can build a functional relationship without consistent communication. If you’re speaking to someone you’re dating sporadically, there’s no way you can be on the same page. Some would say texting and social media connections are enough, but they aren’t. If you’re asking for consistent communication that doesn’t involve text messages and social media, you’re not asking too much. It’s necessary. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re high maintenance for wanting this.
COMMITMENT BEFORE PHYSICAL CONNECTION
Some people are still opposed to just hooking up. Not everybody can randomly physically connect (have sex) with people and require that they be in a relationship with the person—at the minimum. People may not label this as high maintenance, but they will label someone who requires this much as a prude. That’s fine, but know if this is your requirement, you’re not asking too much.
With the long string of wives/girlfriends succumbing to the notorious threesome request, it’s okay to have a difference of opinion. Some of our celebrity faves have opted to do this for the sake of pleasing their man and keeping him sexually stimulated. That’s fine for them, but if you aren’t into it, your requirement for monogamy doesn’t make you a demanding person.
This is the most basic ask of someone with whom you’re involved. It’s basically asking that they care about what happens to you and how you feel about it. If you’re dealing with a person that shows no interest in your emotional well-being, then it’s time to walk away. When you’re hurt, sad, or frustrated, you should be able count on the person to at least be a sounding board. (This is not to be confused with an emotional dumping ground.) Having someone to dump on isn’t a requirement, but having emotional support definitely is.
EXPRESSIONS OF AFFECTION
This doesn’t have to be physical affection (because some people aren’t really physically affectionate). Affection can come in many forms like verbal affection, empathy, etc. On a very base level, this requirement shouldn’t be hard to achieve. If you’re truly into a person, some level of affection will flow naturally. Thus, this requirement is very basic and reasonable.
If you have these requirements and someone is calling you high maintenance, they don’t know the basic necessities of a successful relationship. None of these things are too much to ask (and probably should be on the top of the list of relationship requirements). Stay true to you, and the right person to meet these requirements will come along and blow you away.