Updated: Feb 9
Moms are tough. Most of us know that from dealing with our own moms our entire lives, but it’s a different monster when you have to deal with someone else’s mom. Add a romantic capacity and it’s a super ‘eggshell walk’ (if she just so happens not to like you). While you may be tempted to try being someone completely different from who you are—don’t. There are ways to win her over (or at least get her to be cordial) without changing who you are. None of these ways include getting pregnant or cooking (just putting it out there). Here are 6 “quick and dirty” tactics to winning his mom over (and making both your lives easier).
Find out her issue with you
She may not like you based on a false perception. Your man KNOWS exactly why she doesn’t like you. (Don’t let him fool you.) Pick him for the answer and don’t expect it to be logical. You could have forgotten to speak when you came over once or failed to compliment her dry mac and cheese. Remember, finding the issue is the start of solving the problem. Do that, but try not to aggressively approach her to find the issue. This will only make it worse!
Don’t compliment anything unless it’s genuine. Moms have a way of detecting lies or just fake energy. The last thing you want to do is give off the impression that you are ingenuine. Find something that you actually like about her and be clear with your compliment. Don’t overdo it and let it flow naturally.
Highlight your good attributes
What makes other people love you? Mommy dearest isn’t seeing that and now it’s your job to highlight that without being self-serving with your attempts. Sometimes the best way to do this is to tell her about yourself. How were you as a child and what’s your family life like? These are things that may help her identify with a more favorable part of you. Don’t be a braggart in your attempts, and show her your good intentions for her son.
Try to find a common interest
Does she watch the same shows you watch? Does she like shopping in the same places you shop? A conversation can lead to you finding a common interest. Once you find that interest, take the initiative to tap into it. Invite her out somewhere or initiate deeper conversation.
Show her herself in you
This is a slippery slope because you don’t want to appear as if you’re trying to take her place. However, if a person can see themselves in you a bit, it makes you a little more likable. The funny thing is, men tend to choose women that are similar to their moms in some way. He can help you identify the best angle to use (if you don’t position the question in a weird way).
Accept that she doesn’t like you
If you’ve tried everything on the list and mom STILL doesn’t seem to be budging on her dislike for you, just accept it. Oddly enough, acceptance has resulted in some moms easing up and actually liking the girlfriends/wives eventually. It’s almost like they experience a level of guilt once you accept that they don’t like you. Whatever the reason, this occasionally works.
Some moms are programmed to hover over their sons and “protect their position” as the woman in his life. As weird as it may sound, it’s true. When you run into these types of moms as a girlfriend, it can be frustrating and downright disheartening. Before you throw in the towel, try these 6 tactics to see if you can win her over. After all… what’s not to like about you?