The truth is, plenty of people are dating people they don’t deserve right now because their partner is afraid of being alone. If you’re reading this, you’re probably trying to figure out if you’re the one afraid of being alone. If you’re questioning it, you MAY be, but I have a checklist for you to be sure. Settle in somewhere away from your guy to check out the list (we don’t need you staring daggers at him as you’re reading). Here are 7 ways to tell if you’re staying with your guy just because you’re afraid of being alone.
You’ve made exceptions past your original threshold.
If you had a set list of REASONABLE deal breakers and this guy has run all over them without you batting an eye, you may just be with him for fear of being alone. People make the most exceptions when they are in love or just want to hold on to someone for the sake of holding on. In this case, you would be the latter.
No one else knows why you two are still together.
If EVERYBODY else can see that you guys should have called it quits already, there’s something to that. I’ve always heard and followed the statement, “where there’s smoke, there’s fire”. If everybody else is noticing it, your relationship is in flames (or maybe it should be for that matter). Don’t keep him to just be with someone.
Your feelings for him changed and didn’t return.
So maybe he did something to betray your trust or change how you felt about him. If you chose to stayed with him after that point and your negative feelings remained the same, he lost when he messed up. You don’t have the emotional incentive to reconnect, so it may just be that you’re afraid to end things. Don’t stay with someone you resent just to have arm candy.
You’re not sexually attracted to him.
The relationship may as well be sexless if this is the case. However, your rationale would have you believe that this is better than no sex as a single person. This could be a strong indicator that you’re using him as a placeholder. Sex isn’t everything but being in a relationship with someone you’re not attracted to for the sake of having someone is—unfortunate.
You have nothing in common.
They say opposites attract and that may be true, but having no commonality just doesn’t work. If there is nothing the two of you can talk about or explore together, ask yourself why you’re with him. Is it because you don’t want to be alone? Let it go, if this is the case.
You got back with him for no reason after a separation.
All the odds were against him in regards to you taking him back or rekindling the relationship, but somehow you gave in. Could it have been the holidays, your birthday, or Valentine’s day approaching? No one wants to be alone on those days, but it doesn’t warrant a “filler” relationship.
He’s emotionally interchangeable to you.
If you would feel the same about any other guy you date and he doesn’t make you feel something emotionally unique, he may just be acting as a “warm body” for you. It goes without saying that the lack of emotional connection indicates he’s serving some other purpose. If this is the case, reevaluate why you’re with him to find out if you’re just avoiding being single.
Now that I’ve laid it all out for you, I’ll let you do what you will with this information. Just know that being alone isn’t the worst thing in the world and in some situations (maybe even most), it can be healthier for you. Manage your heart wisely, you only get one.
