Updated: Feb 9
Pretty teeth. Nice hair. Strong jawline. A beard that connects. We typically have a mostly vain list of what we’re looking for in a man, but what is it that we really NEED? Is the reason you haven’t found the right match because you’re looking for all the wrong things? That could definitely be a possibility. The real question is: What SHOULD you be looking for? While I don’t know your personal needs, I can give you a starting point with 6 characteristics you should look for in a man.
This doesn’t mean he can’t get angry, or that he won’t. He just must have the ability to talk himself off of the ledge. Effectively managing emotions is a balancing act and when you can manage your OWN emotions, you’ll react to others’ better. This is what you want to see from him. You never want it to be your responsibility to keep your partner calm or manage his emotions in general. That would be the makings of a toxic partnership. Being comforting to your mate is one thing, but if you have to be responsible for their emotions, it won’t work.
Having a man that knows exactly who his is… is probably the sexiest gift you can give yourself. A man with solid self-direction will be least likely to waste your time. He knows what he wants and is intentional in his actions. You won’t have to wonder about the relationship status or how he feels about anything.
Does he consider the people around him regularly? Everybody isn’t thoughtful. If you’re going to look for certain things in your mate, this one is a good one. If he’s naturally thoughtful, he’ll consider how you are feeling and surprise you with gestures accordingly. In addition, your “talks” will go further with a thoughtful partner than with one who only listens to respond.
When he shows the capacity to think outside of himself often, you may want to hold on to him tightly. This is a characteristic that makes for a good partner, husband, and dad. (Yes girl… I went all the way to the kids.) This guy sees the bigger picture and isn’t clouded by self-absorption.
I mean… no one wants to date a liar or cheat. If he’s characteristically honest, you can let a few more of those “walls” down with him sooner. While the truth may hurt, I’d prefer it over “gentle” lies. Understand that if he’s honest, he may also be blunt with his delivery. Appreciate the honesty and know that you can work on his delivery over time.
Now, you know I wasn’t about to completely disregard looks! …but it’s last on the list for a reason. Yes, you must be attracted to your partner in some physical way for the relationship to exist. However, leading with physical attraction is often a major downfall on the “manhunt”.
It’s easy to make a list of all of the superficial things we want in a man, but it takes someone more intentional to make a list of mere qualities they want in a man. Out of habit, we focus on everything we can see or touch on a person first. What if we focused on characteristics just as much or more? We just may find our forever love sooner!