Dating Myths about the Millennial Woman
Honestly, there are so many stereotypes about millennials that I'm starting to lose track. We're seen as the spoiled generation that wants everything immediately and we don't want to work for it. (That's the general gist of it.) Maybe there are some in our generation like that, but a few bad apples don't spoil the bunch, right? There are even some within the generation that are guilty of believing the stereotypes themselves. When it comes to dating, it seems that millennials have the most pronounced list of stereotypes, but some of them couldn't be further from the truth. Here are the typical myths about dating a millennial woman (and clarification on why they are myths).
1. She doesn't need to be wined and dined. Says who? Just because we were born in the tech era, doesn't mean we don't want to detach from electronics and actually go out on a real date. It is widely believed that because most people are meeting via social media and dating sites, the need to actually physically date has been erased. Myth, myth, myth, and MYTH! Planning a date actually showcases your creativity and thoughtfulness. These are things that can either make you more desirable or end your stint as a potential suitor. Plan dates and/or outings that separate the two of you from electronics. You'll win in the end.
2. Texting her in lieu of calling is fine. Nope. Again, we are the generation of technological advances and electronics, but texting can be really impersonal when you clearly have the option to call. I get it. Some people aren't chatty and would feel more comfortable texting, but texting doesn't translate tone of voice or intentions well. I actually find it rude (and slightly suspicious) when a guy only wants to text when he has the option to call. When this happens, it's easy to question just how invested the person is in the relationship or if they even have time for a relationship.
3. Video calling her counts as quality time. Virtual reality just can't replace some things. Although the advancement of on demand video calling is romantic (in a way), it can never replace physical presence. This never should be offered as a standing option (unless you're in a long distance situation). Even in long-distance relationships, effort must be given to physically be around. Long distance couples set meeting schedules and make accommodations for the distance. Video chats aren't a solution to in-person awkwardness or any other thing that may be halting physical quality time. Show up.
4. She will approach if she's interested. Although times have changed and women have started to more aggressively pursue careers and stability, most still want to be approached and courted. (Check out the responses to my post about women pursuing more here.) It's a new age and some women are actually proposing marriage to men, BUT the large majority of women take the passive approach when it comes to initiating a relationship. Waiting on her to initiate may just leave you both single while you could be finding happiness with one another.
5. She likes clubbing and being "on the scene". I'm coming to you live from Homebody Headquarters to let you know this is an ABSOLUTE myth. I never went through a phase where I just wanted to go clubbing and/or party often. There are several of my friends that are the same. It may be the belief of the masses that partying is one of a millennial woman's favorite pastimes, but a lot of us would rather meet people for drinks or a nice dinner.
6. Looks are everything to her. While looks may play a role in initial attraction, we're not guiding our relationships on looks alone. We're perfectly capable of looking at the total picture and not letting looks be a deal breaker. At this point, there's so much pressure on both sexes to look a certain way, it's actually probably refreshing to encounter someone who doesn't look augmented.
We're not all shallow, disconnected party girls. A lot of us have standards, desire real connections and want to be pursued by a guy that is genuinely interested. Don't believe the stereotypes. We're just as complex as any other generation and deserve the same effort.