I was going to send this as an email because this is personal, but I figured I'd share it as a post instead. I started to really get down on myself a few days ago because I haven't reached goals I set years ago. I must say, I set pretty lofty goals for myself (because I refuse to be mediocre). There's something in me that KNOWS I'm supposed to be great and I can't bear to let that thing down. I've fallen short throughout the years and I'm hard on myself for it. Really hard. Sometimes I won't even acknowledge my accomplishments because basking in them may make me complacent to my goals. (What in the Joe Jackson is going on with me?!) It's the truth, though. While I'm fighting and pushing for greatness, I have a team of cheerleaders letting me know I'm "making the struggle look easy". (That's one of my mantras-- to make the struggle look easy.)
The other beautiful thing that I've found is that there's someone out there that thinks I'm awesome without me having reached those goals to become who I want to be. Having someone or people that are "there for the ride" is important. Having support on steep climbs builds relationships and shows you the character of the person supporting. This has become almost number one on my list of companion qualities. It's important to have someone who can be a sounding board or an "uplifter" depending on the situation.
When you reach a low point and fail to give yourself credit for the things you've accomplished, having a person in place is key. We often focus on being better for the purpose of impressing or attracting others, but it's more important to improve for yourself. Gravitate to people who support your current state while giving you room to grow into the future you desire. It's a weird balance, but improvement is all about you. If you improve or change for someone else, your change is subject to conditions out of your control and can be easily reversed. When they no longer care about your change, you're liable to switch back into a negative space. Improve for you only. As you improve, the people that are supposed to be in your life will stick around and those that fall out of the picture weren't meant to be. Give yourself credit for your current victories and set an improvement trajectory for YOURSELF.