Self-reflection is hard. (…especially when it leads to the conclusion that YOU have been in your own way) No matter how hard it may be; self-reflection is necessary and required more often for some people. If you’ve found that all your relationships have gone up in flames or somehow fizzled out before they could really mature, self-reflection may just be the next logical step in figuring out how to exist in a relationship. While relationships aren’t for everybody, if you’re l

“Does he like your hair like that?” That was the question I heard the most after I decided to chop my straight, relaxed hair off (leaving a few inches of my natural kinky hair). I was insecure at first, but it felt like a fresh start. I felt healthier for choosing to remove chemicals from my hair care routine and positive about the change. My aunts looked at me with unsure glances (that masked overall disapproval) while trying to fain support. Their concerned questions gave t

Repeat after me. Being single is NOT a death sentence or a measure of desirability. I know several people that enjoy the single life and are FULFILLED. We focus on getting into relationships so much that we don’t appreciate the time we could be using to discover and/or improve ourselves. It’s very possible to be single AND successful AND happy. Here are 5 habits of a successful single woman. EXERCISING We shouldn’t only exercise so that we can look good for someone else. We s

You may think that taking yourself out on a date means you're a total loser. This couldn't be further from the truth! This may actually be an indicator for “readiness to date” (date someone else, that is). Someone who can "date" themselves and not rely on someone else for validation is someone who's secure in who they are. Why is this important? Someone who's secure in who they are is someone that will function properly when they DO get into a relationship. If you aren't on t

Everybody has their own idea of what single women SHOULD be doing in 2018. Most of it includes finding ways to get a good man, getting married, and having babies. That’s not everybody’s dream. Some single women are more career driven and are in search of financial stability as opposed to Mr. Right. I can respect both sides, but I’ve put together a list of 8 things you should be doing as a single woman that doesn’t include trying to get married and start a family. PRACTICING S

It's funny how childhood can imitate adult life (in retrospect). I remember being 11 or 12 years old and possessing an almost obsessive determination to have a "normal" family when I was an adult. This determination was driven by the fact that I was being raised by my grandmother and my mother's siblings (because she'd been killed by my father). I was madly in love with my future because my present was just sad at times. I dreamed of a husband, kids, and having an amazing bon

We all would probably change something about ourselves if given the option (without the attached scrutiny). Let's be honest. We put on make-up to feel prettier and compete with other women from a desirability standpoint. Our face is our resume and we want it (and the rest of our body) to be able to compete in a flooded market. There's nothing wrong with it. We've been programmed to try to be as pretty as we possibly can be. We'd all love to have "pretty girl privilege" occasi

I was going to send this as an email because this is personal, but I figured I'd share it as a post instead. I started to really get down on myself a few days ago because I haven't reached goals I set years ago. I must say, I set pretty lofty goals for myself (because I refuse to be mediocre). There's something in me that KNOWS I'm supposed to be great and I can't bear to let that thing down. I've fallen short throughout the years and I'm hard on myself for it. Really hard. S

It's oftentimes glaringly obvious when you're not ready to be in a relationship, but other times it can be rather tricky to tell if you are ready for a new relationship or not. Some behaviors are only merely borderline problematic and thus could be interpreted as minor issues. I've compiled a list of debatable, obvious, and minor indicators that say you may not be ready to be in a relationship. This is for those individuals who may be fresh out of a relationship or those who

I keep preaching about self-love and "being a better you" in my posts, but I haven't really said anything about how to do this. Sometimes it takes everything in you to repair yourself after a break-up or serious let down. The good news is that if it's taking you a while to bounce back, that's completely normal. It takes more than a few days to break a tie to someone or something you loved deeply. Actually, in some cases it's merely the abandonment of the perfect love story yo

*The following story may be based on actual events... BUT... I will neither confirm or deny.* I lay in his lap watching Game of Thrones while he wriggles his fingers through my "naps" to massage my scalp. I make a pointedly sexual observation about Drogo and he defaults to lusting after Khaleesi. Instantly I'm annoyed. (I know, I know... unfair, but hear me out). Besides being a queen, her and I have NOTHING in common, and it's not the first time he's pined for someone that l

Some women are naturally aggressive, but that's not always seen in the best light. Others are pretty passive and introverted, which may leave them wanting in life. I'm somewhere in the middle. There are lots of women that won't initiate conversation or a dating scenario because of tradition and not wanting to be perceived as "easy" or "thirsty". If you're like a large majority of woman in the dating pool, the transition from single to dating can be tricky, but there are ways

One thing I can say that hasn't been an issue for me, is giving every man a fair chance to build or break my trust. While not always ideal for me, I refuse to sabotage a current relationship because of the lingering actions of someone who is and should stay in my past. This isn't necessarily easy for everyone and it's totally understandable. We've all had that one person to betray our trust so badly that we've memorized all their moves (and the red flags we should have caught