Self-reflection is hard. (…especially when it leads to the conclusion that YOU have been in your own way) No matter how hard it may be; self-reflection is necessary and required more often for some people. If you’ve found that all your relationships have gone up in flames or somehow fizzled out before they could really mature, self-reflection may just be the next logical step in figuring out how to exist in a relationship. While relationships aren’t for everybody, if you’re looking for a relationship and you fit the previous description, you may just be naturally doing things that are bound to keep you single. Here are 8 signs that YOU’RE the reason you’re still single.
You tend to take things personal
So we all tend to be big babies at some points in our lives. That’s one thing, but when you’re a total Sensitive Suzy, that’s another. Everything isn’t designed to be a dig at you or your personality. If he’s busy, it’s doesn’t mean he’s avoiding you or trying to let you down easy. He’s just busy. Take a step back in those moments when you feel targeted/triggered and ask, “could it be about someone else right now?” This will help you to center in future instances (if this is an issue for you).
Arguing is a sport for you
Sis… you love to argue! Actually, you’re arguing with me in your head as you read this. It’s not that you’re a bad person, you just approach verbal debates as a sport instead of a nuisance. You may not even be invested in the argument or think it’s a big deal, but to some people, arguing is the most uncomfortable/annoying situation. This will turn people away from relationships with you for fear of dealing with arguments daily.
You think all men are the same
Please tell me you’re not a part of the tribe that thinks this statement is fact. While you may have encountered men with the same agenda, the fact remains that they are NOT all the same. There are good men out there that value relationships. If you’re going into a relationship or encountering potential partners with this thought, you’re losing the battle and may be bound to single life indefinitely. Think positive about finding the man that is the perfect fit for you. Surely, he won’t be exactly like the others!
You have a specific type
At some point, we’ve ALL had a specific type (whether that’s regarding looks, personality, or both). When we stick to the same formula, we will keep getting the same result. Maybe your “type” isn’t the type for you. Think broader and develop an open mind. I’ve seen several instances where people have fallen in love with the most unlikely person (according to their type). The unlikely bonds seem to hold a bit stronger because they are genuine.
Blocking people is your comfort zone
Your desire to “hear someone out” is LOW. You’d much prefer blocking them and pretending they don’t exist than to hear what you think will be a lie. Go easy on the block button sis! Readily dismissing people may be keeping you single. Give situations and people a chance. You may be pleasantly surprised.
You don’t know who would put up with you
If you find yourself saying, “I don’t know who would put up with me.” often, you may be training yourself to stay in a permanent unwanted state of mind. If you don’t feel worthy of being desired, people will pick up on that energy and act accordingly. Combat this by thinking of how much of a good catch you are to the man of your dreams. This will shift your energy and possibly your relationship projection.
You need too much weigh in on your partner choice
If everybody must help you choose your man, there are too many cooks in the kitchen! It’s common knowledge that you can never completely satisfy a large group of people with one decision. If your choice depends on several people, the man may not be chosen at all. Your partner choice should be YOURS. You don’t need the opinions of several people to make this decision. If he checks off all or most of your boxes, roll with it and leave everybody else out of it.
You prefer NOT to be monogamous
This is where you must be honest with yourself. A lot of people say they want to be in a relationship, but STRUGGLE with monogamy regularly. If you seriously struggle with monogamy, a relationship may not be for you (or maybe you can find a polygamous situation to join). Don’t continue to seek out relationships only to find you’re interested in several people. Pinpoint your position on this before wasting your or anyone else’s time.
If you found yourself nodding and/or laughing at the accuracy of any of these points, you may be your own obstacle on the path of a happy relationship. While these things may be unintentional, they can bring along major ramifications to your dating life. Self-reflect or examine where you land on this spectrum and make your best effort to correct it.