We weren't raised compatible...
(This is my 2nd attempt at posting this, but I'm determined.)
So I came across the above picture on Instagram and needless to say, it had some good points. First, I want to say that it's not only black men and women that are raised this way. It's problematic across the board. With that being said, I'll dive right in.
I have often caught myself wondering who raised this inconsiderate, selfish, disloyal, and entitled group of men that seem to plague our generation. I have been convinced for a while that it HAS to be a difference in how our generation is being raised and how our parents were raised. The things that have become "acceptable" in relationships are ridiculous! This post somewhat illuminated that burning question and gave it another facet. It's not about WHO raised these men, but the mentality behind it. It's ALSO about the mentality behind the women's upbringing too.
Apparently, women are raised to be independent to the point of seclusion. This supports the widespread mentality that you shouldn't have to ask a man for anything or need him for anything. I definitely fall into this category and probably have turned off my share of men by giving off the "I got it" attitude consistently. Over time, this attitude can be damaging to a man because it would appear that he's not fulfilling the role that he was trained to fill. Relationships are a form of yin and yang, but if YOU are the yin and the yang alone, what do you need someone else for? Does this mean you have to financially water yourself down and keep your hand out? No. Allow the man to provide in other ways as a start. I may not need financial support, but I need someone to emotionally provide for me. Some other provision may be needed for others, but the point is allowing him to provide for you in a way that works for both of you.
Juxtaposed to this is the upbringing of the men, which focuses on them being the provider head (but somehow not having to be accountable for their actions). It seems the men have been raised to crave the "head" title, but not necessarily embody the accountability that is required to be the head of anything. How is it that boys are told that they should be leaders, but when they do womanizing actions that essentially demean women, they aren't strongly reprimanded? Things like this are always brushed under the category of "boys will be boys". What happens when those boys are expected to act as men? See the problem here? They are being raised to be entitled boys. That's like raising any child and saying "you're supposed to be rich, but don't worry about working hard to get there... people will recognize the richness in you.
These are all things to think about as we continue to improve and make ourselves compatible to our forever loves.
#selfimage #love #marriage #relationships #relationshipgoals #matchmaking