The Thin Line Between Self-Improvement and Self-Hate



We all would probably change something about ourselves if given the option (without the attached scrutiny). Let's be honest. We put on make-up to feel prettier and compete with other women from a desirability standpoint. Our face is our resume and we want it (and the rest of our body) to be able to compete in a flooded market. There's nothing wrong with it. We've been programmed to try to be as pretty as we possibly can be. We'd all love to have "pretty girl privilege" occasionally (if not consistently), but the line between just sprucing to look cuter and completely changing who you physically are is getting really blurred.

It's so common to get augmentations and plastic surgeries nowadays, people are proudly announcing it. As recent as 10 years ago, celebrities would deny having had ANYTHING done... right out of their collagen injected lips. Now, there's so much competition to be the "it" girl on social media, that everyone is starting to look like the most popular social media personalities. The irony about this is that THEY don't even look like their original selves. Everyone seems to be buying the same wig, going to the same surgeon and watching the same make-up tutorials. At first I was thinking "let them be great if they want to drastically change themselves", but it's a little problematic when it seems that everyone is turning themselves into the same duck-lipped, big booty, party girl. It's almost as if everyone is being possessed by the same social media phantom. Where do we draw the line?

I came across Deelishis trending tonight on Twitter and needless to say, she's the latest person to get possessed by the social media phantom. After her surgeries, she looks nothing like the girl we met on Flavor of Love. She was always down to earth and had a certain disdain for "fake". I imagine years in the limelight can get to anyone and produce a pressure to fit in or be just as pretty as everyone else on "the scene". It's pretty disheartening for a regular woman like me to watch celebrity after celebrity fold under this same pressure (especially when they were already attractive before the changes).

The truth of the matter is, the athletes and entertainers have shown time after time that there is a "type" that they are looking for. Hopeful (and maybe not so secure) women find the means to become that "type" to secure a relationship, child, or future with the industry's most financially desirable. It's one big never ending cycle. This also makes it refreshing when there's a man that actually goes against the grain and chooses a mate that looks different from the usual.

All of this trickles down to "us regular folk". As much as most will deny it, we're impressionable (even as adults) and look to the entertainment industry as the template for what's hot and what we should strive for. It's okay to want to physically improve, but once you get to the point of desiring things your natural body isn't physically capable of, it becomes unhealthy. From there, it could balloon into a level of self-hate. There's never a need to disregard who you are to be what you think someone wants... ever.

While I'm no expert on self-love, I really wish this culture of drastic physical change for attention would just go away. I'm sure it would greatly improve self-esteem levels all around. If we stop perpetuating this culture, we can replenish the healthy variety that was once within the dating scene. I appreciate the handful of influential women and men that are pushing the natural beauty agenda, but we need more. Let's be happy with enhancing our beauty without morphing into a completely different person.

#selfimage #selfesteem

  • Black Facebook Icon
  • Black Pinterest Icon
  • Black Instagram Icon
  • Black Twitter Icon

© 2020 Frenching Frogs