Nobody likes homework, but this is a good “assignment”. Most of us think we are automatically ready to be in the relationship of our dreams just because we want it. We sit around waiting for the man of our dreams to roll up so we can be perfect for him and live happily ever after, but… it doesn’t quite work like that. I’ve had a few relationships that made me look inward as to why I was the candidate for the f*ckery (couldn’t find a better word) I endured. This exercise is be

“Does he like your hair like that?” That was the question I heard the most after I decided to chop my straight, relaxed hair off (leaving a few inches of my natural kinky hair). I was insecure at first, but it felt like a fresh start. I felt healthier for choosing to remove chemicals from my hair care routine and positive about the change. My aunts looked at me with unsure glances (that masked overall disapproval) while trying to fain support. Their concerned questions gave t

Repeat after me. Being single is NOT a death sentence or a measure of desirability. I know several people that enjoy the single life and are FULFILLED. We focus on getting into relationships so much that we don’t appreciate the time we could be using to discover and/or improve ourselves. It’s very possible to be single AND successful AND happy. Here are 5 habits of a successful single woman. EXERCISING We shouldn’t only exercise so that we can look good for someone else. We s

Everybody has their own idea of what single women SHOULD be doing in 2018. Most of it includes finding ways to get a good man, getting married, and having babies. That’s not everybody’s dream. Some single women are more career driven and are in search of financial stability as opposed to Mr. Right. I can respect both sides, but I’ve put together a list of 8 things you should be doing as a single woman that doesn’t include trying to get married and start a family. PRACTICING S

It’s absolutely possible to be addicted to a person. After spending a significant amount of time with a person and building routines with them, your mind and body will reject their absence when you remove them. Everything about you gets attached to your significant other so why would you be expected to drop the habit cold turkey? That’s just wishful thinking. In all honesty, you have to go through a full process of getting over your ex. Otherwise, you’ll fall into the common

We all would probably change something about ourselves if given the option (without the attached scrutiny). Let's be honest. We put on make-up to feel prettier and compete with other women from a desirability standpoint. Our face is our resume and we want it (and the rest of our body) to be able to compete in a flooded market. There's nothing wrong with it. We've been programmed to try to be as pretty as we possibly can be. We'd all love to have "pretty girl privilege" occasi

Let's face it... cheaters suck. They're selfish and sometimes sociopaths, but this post isn't about them. It's about their victims. It's so easy to give up on the dating game or simply not be able to jump back into it after dating a cheater. It seems they go on with their lives as usual and their victims have to figure out how to love and trust again. Unfortunately, this is pretty much true. There are several factors that play a role in this delay, but in order to get over th

I keep preaching about self-love and "being a better you" in my posts, but I haven't really said anything about how to do this. Sometimes it takes everything in you to repair yourself after a break-up or serious let down. The good news is that if it's taking you a while to bounce back, that's completely normal. It takes more than a few days to break a tie to someone or something you loved deeply. Actually, in some cases it's merely the abandonment of the perfect love story yo

*The following story may be based on actual events... BUT... I will neither confirm or deny.* I lay in his lap watching Game of Thrones while he wriggles his fingers through my "naps" to massage my scalp. I make a pointedly sexual observation about Drogo and he defaults to lusting after Khaleesi. Instantly I'm annoyed. (I know, I know... unfair, but hear me out). Besides being a queen, her and I have NOTHING in common, and it's not the first time he's pined for someone that l

Some women are naturally aggressive, but that's not always seen in the best light. Others are pretty passive and introverted, which may leave them wanting in life. I'm somewhere in the middle. There are lots of women that won't initiate conversation or a dating scenario because of tradition and not wanting to be perceived as "easy" or "thirsty". If you're like a large majority of woman in the dating pool, the transition from single to dating can be tricky, but there are ways

One thing I can say that hasn't been an issue for me, is giving every man a fair chance to build or break my trust. While not always ideal for me, I refuse to sabotage a current relationship because of the lingering actions of someone who is and should stay in my past. This isn't necessarily easy for everyone and it's totally understandable. We've all had that one person to betray our trust so badly that we've memorized all their moves (and the red flags we should have caught

They say you always end up dating a version of your mom or dad and it has a lot to do with the Oedipus complex (we're sexually attracted to the parent of the opposite sex). I call BS on the complex theory, but I will say we do end up dating versions of the people that raised us. This is something that we must be very cognizant of because for some of us, it may not necessarily be a good thing. While some were raised by stellar examples of the men we would want to marry, other

Disclaimer: One of my pet peeves is extreme attention-seeking behavior, so I will be less than objective on this topic. I almost understand when women exhibit attention-seeking behavior because girls and women are regularly showered with attention and it becomes an expectation. When men start to exhibit the behavior, I'm left grimacing and wondering who coddled them to this extreme. Both genders are equally hard to be in a relationship with when they exhibit these behaviors,

Tonight is actually a fitting night to address this issue that is common enough. I discussed this with a friend a while ago and was looking for a good time to write about it. Tonight seems right because so many people try to avoid being alone on Valentine's Day like it's some sort of plague. The people with this mentality are probably the same individuals that can't seem to avoid jumping into new relationships immediately after a break-up. Don't get me wrong, I understand and

Many of us get to a point where we enter a relationship (of sorts) with an agreement of no strings attached. We often take this approach after coming out of a situation that left us hurt and wounded. The idea is to not let our feelings get involved again (too quickly) so that we can heal from last time. That would be perfect if feelings didn't have a mind of their own. Adding to this is the fact that most are in "no strings attached" situations, but having sex. It's my belief

So, I watched Rob and Chyna tonight and it really made me realize something very important about relationships. Before you start to judge me, hear me out. It may seem like common sense to say that if you are damaged, you won't be functional in a relationship, but it's deeper than that. When you have deep-set self image issues that go untreated, you take it into your relationship and deflect it onto your partner. Rob is dealing with serious self-image issues because he wants t