Updated: Apr 24
One of THE most annoying things about online dating is dealing with the pervs (perverts- for anyone who didn’t know). Guys tend to be more forward/perverted online and on apps (probably because you can’t reach them to slap the fire out of them). For someone who’s taking online dating seriously and looking for more than a hook-up, this can be annoying and maybe even discouraging. It’s even worse if perv advances are the ONLY advances you seem to be getting on your profile. This can make you guarded and dismissive to acceptable advances. Here are 5 techniques to shutting down pervs on online dating sites (while maintaining approachability).
Utilize the Block Feature
I know there are some blockaholics out there that overkill the blocking feature on everything. I’m not saying become that person, but blocking is the easiest way to not engage and get rid of the advances. It also keeps you from exerting negative energy on a platform where you want ALL positive energy flowing.
Example of when to block: He enters your inbox with the simple and rude message “Are you tryna f*** or nah?”. (Real example of dating profile inbox trash) In this case, he doesn’t even deserve a response. He’s either trolling to get your attention or he really means it and either way… he’s trash. (Block button activate!)
Nice-nasty them to Death
Old country folks call politely telling someone to ‘go to hell’ being nice-nasty. For a better idea, it’s a probably a level of passive-aggressiveness (but rightfully used). If you don’t want to jump straight to the block button, turn on your nice-nasty charm and give them the business. The more appropriate place for this method would be if they are perving it out on public display (like on your timeline or something similar). Not only does this show everybody else you don’t like/want those type of advances, but it keeps your reputation solid on the site.
Example of when to utilize the nice-nasty method: He posts under a public picture, “this would have been better without the clothes”. Your nice-nasty response could be “While I appreciate your opinion, you’re not my type.” (Solid burn, but so respectfully articulated.) Something to note is that most of these types will try to attack your self-esteem in the face of rejection. Remember you’re dope and whatever they are saying is out of hurt and personal misery.
Completely Ignore Them
Only a fool holds extensive conversation with themselves. This works best in the inbox. If you say nothing and don’t even acknowledge his message, he’ll most likely go away. For the crazies that continue sending message after message in attempts to get your attention, you may have to escalate to a block.
Example of when to ignore: [Use the same example as when to block] If he goes away or doesn’t continue to engage—you’re golden.
Sometimes you must speak in a language that pervs understand. Here’s a bit of game. Typically, when guys default to inbox messages jumping straight to sex solicitation, it’s a chance they’re just a jerk with a girlfriend (looking for side action). They don’t want to “gain” too much and really have nothing to lose by being rejected by you. Bring up his “girlfriend” as if you know her. Say something like, “Does your girlfriend know you’re inboxing me?” He most likely will retreat like a scared rabbit. Not only will it get rid of him, it’ll probably offer a little entertainment in your hassle.
Example of when to chance it: [Use the same example as when to block] or something VERY similar. (Please note: He’ll probably get super defensive and disrespectful if your spidey senses were right.)
Audit Your Profile
While it takes absolutely nothing for a perv to approach you recklessly, try checking to see if there’s a line or some detail you can put on your profile to deter weirdos. It can be as forward as “Disrespectful private messages will get you blocked”. At least you let them know up front, right?
Try these methods to shake the pervs and click the link below to download a free online dating profile cheat sheet. Dodge the perverts and get the attention you want using the cheat sheet!