Millennials get blamed for everything… sometimes rightly so.
In this case, it’s not entirely our fault. Think about it, we (because I’m a millennial too) were the first generation to integrate computers (more so the internet) into our daily lives. We were comfortable in chat rooms oversharing and potentially meeting people offline to “hangout”. (Admit it, we were all dangerously close to being on an episode of “To Catch a Predator”). This was our norm growing up and it’s trickled over into our adult lives. Computers and technology power our dating/dating habits and we have screwed the game up in more ways that one-- 6 ways to be exact. Check the list below and see if you’ve contributed to this not-so-attractive shift in dating practices.
TEXTING INSTEAD OF CALLING
I’m in the generation, but THIS drives me crazy! We have become so detached that we either think a text is sufficient or won’t require otherwise for fear of seeming high maintenance.
I remember when I was in high school and one of my guy friends told me he had a whole ritual he’d do before calling a girl for the first time. Essentially, he showered, brushed his teeth, and got super comfortable as if he were actually going to SEE this girl. As much as I may have laughed at this confession in high school, it was rather sweet.
Now, we can’t get SOME guys to do that if they’re actually picking us up for a date! Where’s the pride and effort? Nobody wants to try, and I guess dialing numbers and actually talking is just too much for some of us. It’s a requirement for me-- one that I’m not changing.
FRONTING FOR SOCIAL MEDIA
So, we’re a part of the social media era and I don’t have to explain what that means. Most of our activities center around or are captured on social media. With that in mind, everybody shoots to be the “goals” couple by posting matching accessories, outfits, and the cutest pictures they can muster up. The sad truth behind all of this is that these same relationships put on display as perfect on social media could very well be in shambles in real life. Fronting has become JUST that important. We place so much stock on what people see of our relationships on social media that we’re forgetting to actually maintain them!
ABUSING THE THIRSTY LABEL
Because effort levels have dipped to an all time low, when some guy shows extra initiative and puts in work to get a woman’s attention, he’s labeled as thirsty. Never mind the fact that women are dying for attention and pleading to be properly courted, but because this guy doesn’t fall within the normal trash dating habits we’ve learned to accept, he’s “doing too much”. We’re fickle. We’ll throw that thirsty label on anyone who tries or goes against the mediocre grain. It’s getting us nowhere, but we’ve failed to see this time and time again.
EXPOSING INTIMATE DETAILS
We’re good for a good exposé occasionally. Some of us millennials really feel superior or justified in romantically exposing people. Major celebrities have produced screenshots of their ex partners or even potential partners in their private messages. Regular millennials have followed suit. The public can read full transcripts of sexually explicit text messages and see the pictures/videos to match. The sad part is that our generation considers this the norm. Nobody feared these type of things in our parents' generation. It’s so much of a thing now, that the government is actually enforcing laws like the one covering “revenge porn”. This is where we’ve come.
EXPERIENCING MARRIED LIFE WITH THE OPTION TO ABANDON SHIP
We’re not really dating to marry because no one is really getting married anymore. Our generation is the “options” generation. We like having options and keeping them open just in case. While the entire generation isn’t like this, a large enough population make it a thing to experience everything related to marriage life except the legal aspect. Once we're done, it's either out of our system or we want to make it official.
PRIORITIZING ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS LAST
Our generation is busy being entrepreneurs and running successful businesses. I mean… we are. Sometimes we just don’t make time for romantic relationships because we don’t see them as priorities. We were taught that education and money come before any other frivolous desire and we’ve been sticking to our training. Perhaps if we did prioritize romantic relationships a little higher, we could start to shift our faulty dating practices back in a good direction.
Anyway, these are just the ramblings of an old soul born into the millennial generation. Let me know if I’m off-base or if maybe I’m on to something! Happy dating either way!