The first step in getting pursued by a guy is catching his attention. Some of us are better at it than others and some of us need near divine intervention to be noticed. (I‘m somewhere close to the latter.) It doesn’t mean we aren’t attractive, we just lack the skill to “get noticed”. There are some of us that take matters into our own hands and “do the most” to get attention. For those of us that have resorted to drastic measures, I’ve put together a list of 11 things that are off-limits when looking to get a man’s attention.
BEEFING WITH THE WOMEN WHO HAS HIS ATTENTION
This has got to be one of the lamest strategies of catching a man’s attention! Why be catty with the person who currently has his attention. That just screams insecurity. A man that entertains this behavior is less than a catch. No real man sees this type of thing and says… “yes… I want to see what’s up with this woman that’s beefing with my love interest”.
BEING OVERTLY SEXUAL
This works. I’ll be the first to say it, but it doesn’t get you anything serious... typically. If your go-to move is to be overtly sexual to get a man’s attention, be prepared to be used for sex. If all you want is sex, it works, but if you’re looking for something deeper—turn your sexy down a bit.
BEING ARGUMENTATIVE/DIFFICULT
It’s a very common belief that men love women with “bad attitudes” (as in: men think it’s sexy). This is a super myth and will get you nixed by some men before you can make it to the second quarter of your first argument. Nobody consciously wants to be in a relationship with someone who is argumentative/difficult. It’s not cute or a turn on. It’s annoying. There. Someone said it. Don’t pick fights for attention—ever.
INTERRUPTING SPORTS/VIDEO GAME
When the game is on, just sit down. He doesn’t bother you when Scandal or Grey’s Anatomy is on. Give him the same courtesy. This is not the time to “test his love for you” or see “just how irresistible you really are”. You may just be disappointed with his reaction (ignoring you). Try engaging him about the game in a way that won’t take his attention from it. Ask the score, inquire about a play, etc.
CONSTANTLY POPPING UP WHERE HE IS
This is a stalker move—stalking 101. The same way women are scared or concerned when men exhibit this behavior, it’s just as concerning with a woman does it. It’s weird, sis! There’s no other way to slice it. This also could lead to restraining orders and legal action depending on the man’s level of discomfort. Don’t do this on ANY level!
CONTINUOUSLY TEXTING CALLING WITH NO RESPONSE
Just as the previous point touches on physical stalking, think of this one as virtual stalking. When you are feeling the urge to be “persistent” with the calls and texts, ask yourself how they will be received by the person you’re contacting. If they didn't answer the first five texts/calls... just stop. He's not interested or unavailable.
SENDING NUDES
Uggggghhhh. So, the points are getting progressively worse. This is probably the next level of progression from obsessively texting/calling. Sending nudes after obsessively seeking contact IS NOT CUTE (and it's a bit crazy). Random or unsolicited nudes may get his attention, but it’s just desperate to resort to this tactic (if he’s not already your man *wink wink*). Keep your kitty and cookies to yourself! Grab his attention with something else so that you can keep it for a longer period of time.
TRYING TO LOOK LIKE HIS EX/CURRENT GIRLFRIEND
Another creepy one. Okay so, she had the style to attract him for sure, but he very well may be turned off by things/people that remind him of his ex. This strategy also doesn’t take into account how awesome of an individual YOU are. Being someone else to get his attention will always be a fail. Be you and you only. It'll work out in your favor!
BEING A CHRONIC DAMSEL IN DISTRESS
This may be cute the first few times around, but constantly playing the "damsel in distress" for attention will eventually come off as needy and maybe even bummish (yes women can be bums too). If you constantly NEED something from someone, it becomes costly and begs the question of why you cannot do things independently. Even the guys that enjoy being needed may be reserved about the abuse of this tactic.
PRETENDING TO BE INTERESTED IN HIS RELIGION
I’ve seen so many fake Christians and Muslims behind this tactic! It has to stop! Some people believe the way to a man’s heart is his stomach while others believe the way to his heart is through his religion. Both may be true, but if you’re really not interested in his religion, cooking is your best bet. Whip up your best dish and opt not to pretend to be interested in his religious beliefs.
BUILDING A DISINGENUOUS BOND WITH HIS CHILD
Don’t involve a child’s feelings if you don’t really care about them—period. They aren’t disposable pawns and will have to adjust if you decide they aren’t “useful” anymore. This is just heartless and an indicator that your interest in the father is probably one dimensional.
To conclude, just lay off of these tactics completely. While some may be perceived as normal, others will have you looking all types of crazy. Avoid sullying your good name and use better tactics for attention.
