Updated: Feb 9
I used to love the idea of a bad boy (for me more like the "cool" guy).
The good guys just came off as super LAME or weird to me. Was it just me? Before you judge and sentence me to a lifetime of heartache and conjugal visits, I learned the err of my ways as I became a “more mature” woman. (I’m literally 31 and feeling “old” lately, so ignore my dramatics.) Anyway, things changed as we got older and some of us remapped our futures setting ourselves up for success. If you’re still chasing the bad boys, no worries sis, I have a list of reasons that you should let it go and find someone a little more law abiding and “polished”. Check the list below for reasons you should stop chasing the bad boys and be more receptive to good guys.
Bad boys don’t translate well into “real” adulthood- socially.
I was still dating a “bad boy” during my college years. I was technically an adult, but not a “for real” adult. (you know… like the mortgage paying, car note paying, full-time career job having adult…) I figured I had a little time to waste away a little more of my dating years before I needed to get serious. While I knew dating bad boys was getting old (because we were officially on a completely different trajectory), it dawned on my one day. I was going to be a doctor and he was going to be a… street pharmacist… *cough cough*. How could we socialize at my career events like that? Would I always be at risk of losing my credentials fooling with him? Probably. The writing was on the wall and he wasn’t even the devoted boyfriend he should have been. It just wasn’t going to work. He would never change into the “square” I wanted him to be in adulthood. I had to cut my losses.
Bad boys have a hard time committing.
As you get older, most of us women start to think about marriage and children. These guys typically like to go with the flow. They’ll start a family with you, but committing is something entirely different. Some won’t even commit to being hands-on dads (after fathering children)! This is where you don’t want to be (with your goals, aspirations, and credentials high… but stuck with someone who’s complacent in his shiftlessness).
Bad boys are a harder sell for your family (the older you get).
At NO point is a “bad boy” an easy sell for you family. They’ll most likely hate him on first contact either way, but as you get older, they’ll question your development more. They’ll wonder why you are choosing such a “juvenile” romantic path when you have so much promise in life. As you get older, YOU’LL be under scrutiny with your delinquent boo.
Bad boys sometimes come along with harder drug habits as they age.
Things were recreational and workable at first, but they can go south fast. I won’t get on my D.A.R.E. soapbox and start talking about gateway drugs and such, but you know what I mean (and where I’m going with this). It may have been cool to date the guy that smokes a little bit of weed while you were in high school or maybe even college, but who wants to be married to a full blown pothead? Not me. It’s just not cute in your 40s-- to me. In the event that I’m a super square and people would be okay with this, consider how this habit can bloom into pills or any number of things. No thanks!
With bad boys, you can cancel anything requiring a background check.
Seriously, if your bad boy has racked up a few charges over the years while he was still finding himself, he’ll get you blocked from upscale housing communities and financial opportunities (that’s if you plan to list him as your companion). Then if you aren’t, you can’t fully embrace life with him because you have to hide him from the leasing office or home owner’s association. Sheesh! (…just when you thought your years of sneaking guys in were over)
Bad boys typically want good girls to balance out their bad.
There’s no intent on ever being a good guy (which is why he chose you). He thinks your good qualities will somehow cancel out his bad and the relationship with work on a perfect yin-yang balance. Meanwhile, you’re thinking he’ll eventually grow out of his bad phase and step up to the plate. It won’t end well. Accept that he may not want to change in the future and be prepared for it—should you continue to entertain bad boys.
We want what we want at different phases in our lives, but there comes a point when we all must grow up and make decisions that we’ll appreciate at our retirement age. Dating a bad boy just isn’t one of those decisions, sis. Secure your future and grow out of the phase. Your future self is depending on it. But seriously… what’s the oldest age acceptable to still date a bad boy?