It’s easy to get frustrated when you aren’t romantically progressing at the speed of your choosing. Maybe you’ve been less than forward in an attempt to “play it cool” and not be a nag. Maybe your signals are just completely off and the message you’re sending doesn’t match your true feelings. Whatever the case, he doesn’t know that you’re ready to move to the next level because you’re sending the wrong signals or worse—no signals at all. There’s no way to be sure that “signals” are received, so the best practice is to be straight-forward. Here are 5 reasons he doesn’t know you want to take it to the next level.
You’re afraid to tell him
You may want him to take the initiative and take it to the next level, but you’re scared of him NOT doing it if you tell him how you really feel. While these feelings may be valid, they’re not conducive to moving forward in your relationship. It may be more of your fear holding the two of you back than his lack of action. Be brave and direct. When you’re afraid, your attempts to let him know that you’re ready to take it to the next level will get clouded and watered down. They’ll most likely come off as passive and/or fall flat. Shake the fear and let him know.
You told him the wrong way
On the flip side of passive suggestions (which aren’t helpful) there are bold demands. Everybody doesn’t respond well to “demands”. (I know I don’t.) While a demand may be direct, it can be rude and emasculating. Don’t give ultimatums or threaten him. Maybe your message will get across, but he’ll take it as a show of dominance rather than a request to move the next level.
Your actions don’t show it
Some of us have the weird idea that being too vocal about our feelings will make us seem “pressed”. (okay… I was one of those people) When I wanted more from a guy and I felt he wasn’t feeling me the same way I was feeling him, I’d detach (fall back). I didn’t want the relationship to seem one-sided, but of course most men will read this tactic as you being content where you are or that you’re actually LOSING interest. Go figure! Falling back makes them think you’re not interested… what a concept! If you’re using my old flawed judgment—don’t. He’s not a mind reader and will only act on what you’re showing him.
Your plans don’t include him
You don’t have to plan your future with him to the letter or write him into every aspect of your life, but if your conversations consist of you verbally distinguishing you versus him, he’s catching that vibe. If ALL of your plans/goals/aspirations start with “I” and you’re not giving him enough “we” statements, it doesn’t even sound like you WANT to go to the next level with him.
You don’t show interest in his passions
So maybe he has an ant farm and you’re just like “no thanks”. You can at least ask a few questions about it. Ask why he’s even interested in having an ant farm. You may learn something new and interesting about HIM that you didn’t know. A person’s passion can tell you a lot about them. Try to get in on his passion (if he wants you to) and experience something new.
Don’t be afraid to be direct (without being demanding). Your future self will thank you for it. Try a different approach with these five tactics you may be overlooking, and he may actually get the message. If you’ve tried all of these things and he’s still not budging… he just may not WANT to move forward. ☹ It’s his loss babe.