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Esse D

5 Unspoken Dating Rules Everyone Should Know



It’s possible to land a date, go out, and get NO callback. The dating world is extremely fickle right now and while petty has been a characteristic heavily thrown on women, men have joined the party. I would say that men are JUST as petty as the women now and THAT means one wrong move on a date and you could be permanently dismissed. I have mixed emotions about this, but I also don’t want you jeopardizing a potential connection by doing any of these 5 things on a date (or in some cases while dating in general).

If you’re not paying, don’t exceed your date’s meal price.

This may come as a surprise to some of us, but a date is not a test of your potential mate’s financial limits. Translation: this is NOT the time to try to break the bank and test his “motivation” to impress you. If he is eating a $15 meal, order something comparable or less (if you’re feeling modest). Ordering top shelf and the most expensive food items (regardless of his order) just screams “gold digger” or “selfish hag” at best. (Yea… I said hag… lol)

Don’t ask about their salary.

It’s not your business… yet. If you ever want it to be your business, digging into his finances immediately is NOT the way to go. It’s different if he volunteers the information. If he does, proceed with caution. Also, ask yourself if you’re comfortable discussing your salary at that time. If the answer is no, don’t dive in. There are so many other things to discuss on a date that DON’T include salary. Pick a less awkward topic and use the time to impress him.

Don’t be more than 5 minutes late.

Even the most organized and intentional woman can get caught up in the magic of preparing for a date—to the point of running late. Don’t think that if you arrive looking and smelling great, he’ll just forgive your lack of punctuality. It’s rude to make a person wait for you and a little selfish to think that it’s okay. That’s it. Don’t start on the wrong foot by implying he will always have to wait for you in the relationship. Be punctual and present. If you run into an emergency situation and you absolutely must be late, communicate that as early as possible so you are actively being respectful of his time.

Don’t bring up your ex.

Um… he doesn’t care, sis. Whatever your ex used to do or order is irrelevant. You know what else is irrelevant? …the comparison between your date and your ex. It’s bad being compared to an ex when you’re in a full-blown relationship on a normal day. It’s drastically worse when you are getting to know a person and being compared to their ex instantly. Ew! The date is your time to discover good things about each other and connect on different levels. No one else should be included in that equation.

Use the golden rule.

We all know this one. If you don't want it done TO you, don't do it to someone else. This pretty much covers everything missing and in-between. This goes from the first date to past the wedding date. If you would be hurt, offended, or negatively affected by a particular action, don't do it to your partner. This is the easiest rule of thumb, but selfishness tends to cloud the clarity of this rule.

Let’s try to keep it cute on dates and avoid these less than opportune situations. We don’t need any of these four things defining our date style and potentially getting us scratched off the “potential” list. Behave!

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