Updated: Feb 9
I am and will ALWAYS be the most prude person around when it comes to open relationships, swinging, throuples, threesomes, etc. I DON’T WANT TO SHARE… and that’s it. Things are seriously shifting in the dating world and people are tolerating what used to be radical takes on dating and relationships. To each there own, but if you’re willing to be a part of a throuple, threesome, or any other open arrangement that involves more than just you and one partner, read this closely! Here are 5 reasons why you shouldn’t introduce this situation as a response to cheating.
You didn’t just wake up one day and decide that you wanted to be the cool girlfriend and open the lane for exploration with other partners. He explored without you, and now you’re trying to “save face” and embrace his indiscretions as a lifestyle choice. (Harsh… but honest) If you wouldn’t have considered it before he cheated, now isn’t the time to get creative with your healing process. Deal with the betrayal instead of trying to mask it in the guise of progressive dating.
It rewards dishonesty.
Once you reward dishonesty one way, it will come in another way. So, you open the relationship to keep him from stepping out, BUT you assign rules to the openness of it all. For sure you don’t think he’s going to actually FOLLOW those rules, right? Rule breaking is how you got here in the first place. Be prepared to bend rules and open more. You partner must have an established stopping point before delving into open territories.
You may not enjoy the benefits.
Equality sis… equality. If you weren’t even thinking of being in an open relationship until your partner cheated, it may not even be CLOSE to your lane. So, you’re liable to have a “hall pass” and ignore it because the idea disgusts you or merely turns you off. Now you’re in the position of willingly allowing his exploration while hoping it’s just a phase. Meanwhile, you don't get to enjoy any of the ACTION!
He has the advantage.
He was already in an open relationship without your permission! Can we say head start? Now, you have to get your "rotation" up or find someone willing to be a part of this type of situation. Meanwhile, he already has a ready-made situation(s) and potentially won’t miss a beat. The situation stands to be one sided and NOT in your favor for a while. Not cute!
You’re likely to fold emotionally.
The tough girl in you was screaming, “I'll show him how it feels”, but the battered ego won’t REALLY let you be great. Opening the relationship after cheating is more of a knee-jerk reaction than not. Usually it’s not fully thought through and it presents as an opportunity to get “revenge” without feeling like a hoe. It just REALLY doesn’t work like that.
Sis, if you’re tempted to open your relationship as a solution after cheating, open it ALL the way for him and go find someone else. You can’t effectively heal from his betrayal in this situation and you’re likely to damage yourself (and what’s left of your relationship) further. Exit, babe. Thank me later.