Me or Social Media!



"It's either me or social media!"-

So this must be the new age ultimatum. I've heard it so many times. I know it gets annoying to hear people talk about how "the new generation" has all these problems that our parents didn't have, but some of it has some validity.

We tend to live microwave ready lives because as time goes by, things become more convenient and essentially readily available. Why not take advantage of convenience? Physical social interaction has been semi-replaced by social media for convenience purposes. Introverts spend hours on social media "interacting" with others and feeling some sense of accomplishment. It's an escape from real life most times and much more appealing than living in the physical world for most. The problem with this is having a designated person that should be getting the attention that you so willingly give social media.

What can add to this problem is if your social media attention involves interaction with followers, etc. Now, you're basically giving another person(s) attention your significant other is being deprived. Here's where it becomes problematic. It's easy to say that people on social media are strangers and non-threatening (which very well may be), but if you have a significant other that is feeling neglected and second priority to them, it impedes progress in the relationship. A few things to consider when determining if it's a problem are (I'm mildly guilty of almost everything here):

1. Are you on social media during dinner or other intimate activities?

Aside from being just plain rude, there's no way you can't go 30 mins- 1 hour during a meal without being glued to your phone/tablet. Put it away and you'll be surprised at what you find out about your partner. Or maybe you'll be surprised at how you'll be rewarded *wink wink* Either way, this is a good starting point for unplugging. Try giving a designated "social media free" hour to your partner everyday.

2. Are you in bed on social media while your significant other is awake and in bed with you?

This is one of the saddest images of a social media addict. There are so many OTHER things that can be transpiring while you and your partner are in the bed together after a long day. I'd go as far to say that some people say goodnight to their followers without actually saying goodnight to their partner. (You've all seen the posts) If you're reading this and thinking it might be you, start putting the phone away before getting under the covers. (baby steps)

3. Have you missed important information/events due to being distracted by social media?

So maybe you've been "talking" to someone either on the phone or in person and have been trying to multitask by scrolling your social media feed. Let's be honest, we're never really listening to anything when we're scrolling, right? It's in these times where we can miss important tidbits of information. When you're caught not listening, it compounds the neglect of your partner. Either don't have serious conversations while scrolling or completely unplug for the conversation.

4. Are you attached to social media as a response to neglect from your now "neglected" partner?

So here's a doozy. Although this is the BEST argument ever for your social media attachment, if your partner is starting to show interest and wants you to detach from your "pacifier", you have to put forth an effort to do so. However, this would be a good time to have a conversation about the original issue of neglect.


#love #marriage #relationships #everydaylove #expectations #relationshipgoals

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