As the mother of a little boy, I started thinking of all the ways I could add value to his life and what I would need to teach him while I was pregnant. I figured the typical dad stuff was covered, but what would his dad miss that would be important for me to teach him? Then the answer hit me. One of the most important things for mom's to teach their sons is how to functionally interact with women in relationships. I know some think that it's the dad's job to do that, but if you think about it... Moms are the subject matter experts. Even if you don't have a son and aren't influential in a little boy's life, here are some things I'm sure you could have benefited from a mom teaching your significant other or potential mate.
1. It's not only sex that requires foreplay. There are some situations where you must lead in gradually. I've had a few significant others that would drop bad news bombs at the last minute so they wouldn't have to deal with the effects too long. This has become a pet peeve for me. If you know you aren't going to be able to do something or that you don't want to do it... say it up front. A lot of men are afraid to disappoint and want to let women down easy, so they "go along" for as long as possible and THEN break bad news. No woman wants to be bashed over the head like this on any level. We must be "primed" and/or transitioned properly. It shows a level of maturity and consideration when you can present information in a prompt and tactful way.
2.The protector role isn't any less significant than the provider role. A lot of men think that because they can provide a good life for a woman, that's all it really takes. Wrong. It's important for women to feel protected. This doesn't mean you have to be a big hulking mass of muscle or some sort of fighting machine. She needs to feel safe and feel like you are vigilant about her well-being.
3. Listen with your eyes more than your ears. A man that can hear what a woman's mouth doesn't say will always make her fall in love. With that being said, body language will tell you how you really should respond because relying on words isn't always the best answer. Once you master the art of doing this, women will interpret this as a form of true love. What woman can resist a man that fully understands her?
4. Never dismiss a woman because she doesn't know enough about a subject that interests you. Here's an opportunity that men tend to miss in frustration. So maybe we ask what a 2-point conversion is at the absolute worst time, but turning these moments into teachable moments can be attractive to a woman.
5. Your level of patience is attached to a facet of a woman's security. The more patient you are with a woman, the more secure she'll feel with you. Blowing up and not taking the time to understand a woman will almost always make a woman look for some other underlying issue and wonder where she really stands with you. Take a step back and breathe when she's taking forever to get ready or really wants to "talk" something out when you're not in the mood.
6. Live by the standards you levy on your partner. If you require her to be fit with a certain body type, you must match these demands with your own effort. Similarly, if you have certain requirements about upkeep, match them. If you expect her to always have her hair/nails done, etc. make sure you're always well groomed also.
7. Respect and admire her strength, but show her she doesn't need it when you're around. Being strong is beautiful, but being with a person who makes you comfortable enough to be vulnerable is priceless. Being your partner's place of safety is the goal. It will create a super bond over time.
8. Never lose your spontaneity. You don't have to constantly pull a rabbit out of hat to keep things interesting, but women appreciate spontaneity when it comes to little gestures. This can go a long way and inspire her to be spontaneous as well. This will keep the relationship from getting boring and/or cold. Spontaneity will always spice things up.
That's my soapbox! Sounds like a nice list of rules to teach your son, right? Your future daughter-in-law will thank you. Most importantly, you'll be teaching an extension of yourself to be a decent (actually outstanding) human.